DEFINING MOMENTS

What did you have to overcome to become who you are today; to be where you are right now? Everyone has a story. Here is another piece of mine. Hurdles, hard times, adversity…all in there.

Part of my journey to becoming a conference interpreter.

I hope that as you read this, you will find yourself in there and connect with me but most of all, I hope I spark up hope in you.

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Today, let me share one more piece of myself with you. One of the most defining moments of my life as a young and promising language professional. Would you believe it if I told you that there was a time in my life when I considered giving up on my dream of becoming a conference interpreter? Yes, I was so down and faced with such difficulty that throwing in the towel seemed like the easier and only option. I wondered: what would I even do with my life? Yes, I have a thousand and one skills but I didn’t know how to be anything else. This was my dream, my passion; I had always waited for this, I had worked so hard for it and I was so close to finally becoming or at least starting to become that which I had pictured with the eyes of my mind: a professional conference interpreter working for various respected and recognized international organizations.

This story I am about to tell you relates one of my most vulnerable moments as a student and a professional. It happened during the final lap of my conference interpreting master’s training program.

I had gone through the first three intensive and demanding semesters on campus and I was now on the other side of the globe. Mandated with putting everything I had learned into practice in a real-life work environment.

I was an intern interpreter at the General Secretariat of the OACPS (the Organization of the African Caribbean and the Pacific States) and gosh…I wasn’t killing it at all. In fact, I was very far from my usual self who was always killing it back in class on the campus of the University of Ghana. The level of difficulty of the speeches I had to work with in that setting was something else; a really tough challenge for the beginner that I was. [I am however happy and grateful that I had such exposure because it opened my eyes to a “higher” reality and it forced me to measure myself only against the highest standards of quality.]

Due to health issues I had been dealing with for years and which most of my supervisors and colleagues were unaware of because I did not like to talk about them – even when I did, I couldn’t go into too many details-, I was struggling a great deal. Physically, I looked okay but I was really in pain, struggling a lot to focus and keep a clear mind, always feeling sick, exhausted, extremely dizzy and helpless all the time. I did not like to talk about my health issues because it made me look like a liar and a lazy person simply looking for sympathy since nothing on my body showed I was not alright.

Only lab tests could tell anyone that I was really sick because I did my best not to let it show and because I am generally a really strong person. You could, therefore, see me going about my daily life like any other normal and healthy person without ever noticing how much effort it actually took me just to function daily.

Coupled with that, I was in a completely different environment with totally different weather which took some more toll on both my physical and mental health.

I went through depression without knowing I was going through depression because I did not know what it was that I was feeling and why I was feeling the way I did. I mean, I had gotten this lifetime opportunity that some people could only dream about, so why wasn’t I more excited and over the moon? Why was I feeling so down? I couldn’t put a name on what I was experiencing.

Aside from all that, I had made the grave mistake of spending months without practising while I waited to sort visa issues out so I could finally be able to travel to Brussels where the General Secretariat of the OACPS is located.

My worst day came when one of my supervisors at work decided to compare me to one of my colleagues from school who happened to be in town for a different training at the same time and came to spend a day of practice with us.

You see? Usually, that was something that wouldn’t happen with me because I was almost always brilliant during practice time back in school. So, it really got to me.

The already badly struggling me was shattered. The little self-confidence I had left was badly eroded. It was only a few words and I don’t think he meant to hurt me but those words did. I thought about them for a very long time and it worsened my doubts about my own abilities and skills even though I knew what I was capable of achieving.

For me, that internship went badly for the most part but it wasn’t all bad because it was during it that I had the defining moment this piece is actually all about.

Enough of the suspense and the sad moments, let me tell you all about it now.

I was privileged to spend one more day with one of the most seasoned seniors in the interpreting profession. She is a woman I admire so much and just remembering her face right now is making me smile.

She invited me to spend yet another day with her at the EU Commission’s Directorate-General for Interpretation where she is a staff interpreter and she told me a story that completely changed the way I saw things and restored my hope and my faith in myself.

She told me about how when she started her career as a young inexperienced interpreter, working at the same organization where I was then completing my internship, she went into work every day telling herself “Okay, today is the day they’re going to fire me. They are going to realize I am an imposter who doesn’t know what she is doing when she sits in the booth and they’re going to fire me”.

She probably didn’t realize this but I was mind blown by that revelation. Why? Because never ever on earth would I have thought that this great interpreter and trainer of interpreters ever had a moment when she struggled like I was at the time. I know she is human but it never occurred to me that all those great interpreters I so much admire today all started from somewhere and probably all went through what I was going through at the time.

This was a turning point for me; an epiphany. I told myself “if even THIS woman used to struggle at this job, then there is a lot of hope for me and who am I not to struggle?”

I don’t know why but it did not occur to me that it took every one of the seasoned interpreters I know, years of experience to get where they are today.

They didn’t get there in a day.

If you are reading this, no matter your profession, I want to encourage you not to give up on your dreams and on yourself. It may take you longer than it would take others but definitely, don’t give up.

I am forever grateful to this awesome trainer for being so candid and opened with me. I think it would make such a difference if more seniors, colleagues, trainers, professors, lecturers, teachers etc. were that honest and opened with their trainees/students/colleagues.

It would help the younger generation which is looking up to you, to see and realize that you were once where they are now; that you were once them. It will help them see that it is alright to struggle and that there is hope for them.

Always presenting an image of perfection to your students does them no good. You are rather doing them a great disservice.

The other thing that really helped me was sharing a booth with one of my former trainers at a point. At first, I was terrified at the mere thought of being in the booth with her. “What if I make mistakes? What if my mind goes blank? What if I can’t find my words? What if I can’t understand something? What if I disappoint her? What if I’m not good enough and the organization we were both working for at the time, never calls me back? ” but in the end, sharing the booth with this other excellent interpreter made me more confident and less doubtful about myself. It made me realize that these people are not machines but only humans after all.

If you are an interpreter trainer, as much as you can, do take your students to the field with you sometimes. Let them see you in action.

Trust me, it will make a world of difference to them and will definitely boost their confidence which is a vital attribute for becoming/being a great interpreter.

If you stuck with me this far, congratulations on reading another one of my crazy life stories.

I hope I did two things: inspire you and give you hope.

Fell free to share your thoughts with me. What are/were your defining moments? I’d be happy to hear all about them.