LORD, PLEASE STOP BEING INSENSITIVE!Β 

Heya. Let’s have a little chat about healing. I’m here to tell you about one of God’s “methods” of healing.

It is a most misunderstood one because it is subtle and turns the spotlight away from YOU.

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Love.

Do you have any idea how hard some people can love ? Such people are consequently the ones who feel the most pain in any type of relationship Β (family, friendship, marriage relationship). That’s also why their healing process takes much longer than with some people .

When you’re someone who loves as hard as this girl right here writing this to you, it is only normal to yearn for something as intense as what you carry within and are willing to give. So when someone comes around and wriggles all that to your face and then tells you, you can’t have any of it, it is the most painful thing ever. You wish they never stopped by. You wish they never got close. And though you know that vengeance belongs to the Lord, you even find yourself wishing they’d one day find themselves where you are now, so they experience your pain and get to know what you are going through. So when God tells you to look outside yourself when all you wanna do is coil up in bed all day long and cry your misery away, it just doesn’t make sense. It seems like God is being insensitive but in actual fact HE is not. Let me tell you how or why.

Have you heard the story of the homeless man who chose to sacrifice himself to keep his friend (not even sure they were friends; maybe just another homeless acquaintance) warm so he wouldn’t die of cold while they were outside, and at the mercy of the cold winter winds and the snow ? His friend was in danger of freezing and dying. So this man decided to wrap his arms around him and rub his hands on him all night long, so his blood would keep circulating and not freeze. This man didn’t realise that by so doing, HE HAD SAVED HIS OWN LIFE. When morning came, both of them were still alive.

For some weeks now, I have been trying to process some emotions ~mostly negative ~ that seem to be going into all directions and in the middle of this emotional chaos, I see God telling me to encourage someone else. This scenario will particularly be true for you if you have the gift of encouragement —you know you have this gift when people keep coming to you for encouragement and return uplifted after having spoken to you EVEN WHEN YOU’RE DOWN YOURSELF—-.

Who encourages the encourager? But here I am and I can clearly see God telling me to help heal another sister/brother when I am persuaded I’m a mess myself and all I wanna do is focus on MY mess.

I find myself down and needing this same encouragement and God is now sending people my way who need encouragement and I feel like screaming : LORD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING ? CAN’T YOU SEE WHAT I’M GOING THROUGH? Β CAN’T YOU SEE HOW WOUNDED I AM ? Can we focus on ME right now ?!

Have you ever found yourself in this position ? If yes, then take the time to breath in…and breath out πŸ˜„. Now, hear me out: God is just engaging you into this peculiar healing process. It’s not the “coolest” but it’s real.

This is how God heals many times but you won’t get this healing until you decide to surrender and cooperate; not until you decide to just do what He is leading you to do.
God is not being insensitive when in the middle of your struggle He sends you someone else who needs help. Β He is not being insensitive when while you’re in the eye of the cyclone, HE sends you Β brethren who need you to hold their hands so they can get through their own cyclone. HE is healing you but just NOT YOUR WAY. Hear what the Lord says :

~ Β Isaiah 55:8-9

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord . For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. ~

HE is healing you the homeless man’s way. Just open up your heart and you’ll see.

If you’ve been wondering: Lord why do these people keep coming to me ?! I need a break.

Well, now you know. 😊

Be strong and cooperate. You’ll see how sweet and healthy it is to help heal another person. Your own healing will come as a swift breeze you won’t even feel. Before you could say Jack, you’d be back to life and kicking it again.

It might be a slow process but it sure does work.

In the body of Christ, the Lord never wants “self” to be the focus. His body as a whole is what He sees and we are beautiful pieces of the puzzle ; a million different colours. When different patchworks are being sown together, it can look messy and you won’t get to see the beauty of the work until it’s done


so just TRUST and SURRENDER.

He wants us to understand that we are one body and as we get concerned and more busy with healing each other, we are actually healing ourselves πŸ˜‰.Β 

Cheers!Β 

A little note from God πŸ˜‰

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PS: Were you inspired or uplifted? Β Go ahead and like, comment or SHARE THIS WITH OTHERS. I’d love to hear from you on this or anything else ☺. THANK YOU.Β 

THE DAY I MEET YOU 3 – UNSPOKEN FEARSΒ 

Heya, you missed part 2? This link hereπŸ‘‡ will take you right to it😊. Enjoy! 

 https://ceej2016.wordpress.com/2017/02/10/the-day-i-meet-you-2/

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Hi babe

I was sitting in a trotro* home the other day and I felt like talking to you. I did well to take my phone out and start typing straight away lest I forget the words flowing through my mind at that particular moment.

In my last note, I told you about some of these unspoken fears. Today I’m going to tell you about two more and as I do, I believe I won’t be speaking for myself alone but for the many; saying aloud what many are thinking to themselves and feeling low-key.

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I think you know that I know it is almost time for you to fulfill that deal you made with God.

You know that deal where He agreed to keep me hidden for you until I turn the age  I’m about turning in a few days ? 

Babe! This is the part of the movie where you appear in your shinning armour to whisk me away on your majestic horse.

You’re aware, right ??!

Someone was telling my friend Nathalie the other day that maybe her babe’s horse fell into a gutter and broke a leg while he was on his way πŸ˜‚. 

I hope that’s not your case.

A few days ago, I went shopping and I noticed a new restaurant at the mall. I then decided to go in just to check out their menu.

As I was coming back out, holding my shopping bags in one hand and about to engage into a struggle with the heavy glass door in order to push it open, an elderly man who saw me through the door decided to open it for me.

I asked him with surprise written all over my face : were you coming in sir ?

He replied no and as he walked away, he shouted : ” ladies are meant to be served by gentlemen so allow us to take care of you. I know nowadays, these 21st century women want to do everything on their own but express your femininity by just allowing a man to take care of you. ”

As he entered the corridor ahead of him and was out of sight, he reappered, tilted his head back and added: “God created us to help you and you to help us !”

I responded with an hallelujah, a wide grin and a giggle. *Now I wish I took a picture with him*

I marvelled and kept smiling because I knew there and then that this elderly and lovely man was not just babbling. It was as though he had taken a trip down the world in my mind. I realised he was God sent and that I was being fed some manna*

because how could this man have known that this is one of the things I have been thinking about deeply and just a few days ago, I was again.

Thinking about the fact that the day I meet you…

You’re going to realise that I am the embodiment of what a “Miss independent” is.

First of all, I hate asking anyone for help.

Secondly, I’m not used to having someone take care of me.

This started not just because I was raised by a strong mother but also because at a quite early age, I’ve had to put up with responsibilities that were larger than my shoulders. I’ve had to learn to be a grown up real quick to face life’s harsh realities. For me, there was no time for being mama’s girl or baby forever. Of course, I’ve had some of such cherished moments but they weren’t my daily reality. Being strong and always strong was all I had left most of the time. Those close to me have an idea what I mean.
And lastly, I confess that I am a total control freak who always needs everything to be in a certain order.

Aside these, the facts that I have been disappointed so many times in life by people I firmly believed I could count on, thought me how to do things for myself without waiting for anyone’s help. 

I want something ? I go get it ! End of story. Unfortunately, I sometimes carry this into my relationship with God and the way I relate to Him.πŸ˜’πŸ˜”

The perfectionist side of me also makes me do this ‘cos I’m always worried people are gonna mess up or not be as details conscious about a task I delegate to them as I would have myself. I ended up being right about that so many times though. So yeah, you can say I kind of got trust issues. I’m that girl who would psyche herself up for the worst from people 90% of the time instead of ending up disappointed and hurt.

But you see ? In the end, this still didn’t work when it comes to protecting my heart and feelings, so I guess I just have to learn to trust people anyway . It’s a risk one must take in life.

As you can imagine, I went to my all time personal person –my grand-mentor– with this fear and after daddy listened to me for a while, this is what he said ” Constante, you may not feel like relying on a man right now but as time goes on, you’ll feel the need to have a man taking care of you. So it’s alright.  You don’t have to worry. This desire has something to do with genetics and it’s God given, so with time it will manifest itself by all means “. (Paraphrased)

So, problem solved ?

Well, it’s true you have your part to play in showing yourself trust worthy, I’m gonna have to learn to trust you especially and like that old man told me: I’ll have to ACCEPT — ‘cos for me, this whole thing has more to do with taking off the garment of rebellion and accepting that I need a man to take care of me. It puts me in a vulnerable position I don’t like– to let you take care of me and do things for me because I did conduct a little survey 

This was the image for my Facebook survey post

a few weeks ago when I started writing this and one thing was confirmed and clearly came out : I JUST HAVE TO LET YOU not because I can’t do it all on my own but because it matters to you so much and that, that is how God made you and the role He assigned to you. I’d therefore do well to stay out of your lane. πŸ˜πŸ˜„

By now, you’re looking for the other fear I said I’d talk about in my letter, right ? 

Well, here it goes.

It is about one thing you won’t believe I dread but I actually do: INTIMACY ! 

No babe. Not the sexual kind nor the let’s have deep conversations all night long kind. I’m the Queen of deep convos; trust me πŸ˜†πŸ˜‚. Not the saying beautifully ” “butterflyee” things to each other all day long either. 

When I say intimacy, I’m referring to those not-so-pretty moments. I’m reffering to doing the kind of thing this couple is doing in this picture. When we’re able to do stuffs like farting around each other and this πŸ‘‡to and with each other, we’ve truly reached an awesome level of intimacy. πŸ™ŒπŸ˜‚

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

 Yeah, it looks funny and crazy but when I saw it, I thought of you. I thought of us; of the after-wedding ceremony everyday life moments. 
I thought of those times when you’d ask me to hand you some T-roll because there is none in the restroom and you didn’t check before starting your business.
I thought of the day when I’d be in the shower and forget to pull the curtain and you’d zoom in unannounced because you need to use the other half of the bathroom at the same time.

You know that feeling; how you dread those corporate bathing times when you go for camp and the bathrooms have no shower curtains ? Or again how some married couples otherwise known as #LegalPractitionners* dread making love with their lights still on

Y’all in bed waiting for dum* like…: Umm baby, you forgot to switch off the light

πŸ˜…

, so they’re actually happy when ECG* does its thing ? There you have it !
I know this can seem weird and make some people laugh but when the Bible says “…the man and his wife were both naked and they felt no shame” , for some of us, it’s not that easy to replicate this! In fact, it’s a big deal! Standing COMPLETELY naked –emotionally, physically (ESPECIALLY) and mentally– before someone for the first time and the days after for the rest of your life is one of the most terrifying things for many people and I am one of them. 

I remember having a conversation with a close female friend some years back and she expressed this same fear. At that time, it seemed so trivial so I just laughed it off and swept if off my mind like unwanted cobwebs. Today I do some deep thinking and realise I’m standing in her shoes and that she was right to feel the way she felt.

More recently I shared with another friend a fact many people ignore about me: I have a hard time looking people in the eye for long. 

 

I can’t explain why but after a few seconds, my eyelids will be closed like those of the lady in this image. It gets very uncomfortable to me, not just because I have been thought as an African child that starring people in the eye while they talk to you is disrespectful but also because, to me there’s something deeper and awkward to it.

There goes that fear of intimacy again. 

Babe, maybe I’m scared that if I let you gaze into these eyes too long, you’d see something I don’t want you to.

I still can’t tell

I guess we’d just have to wait for the day I meet you to find out.

And oh, about that oreo chocolate ice cream I mention at the end of every letter to you ? Eeermm…let’s just say it’s better I don’t make mention of it this time around πŸ˜‚πŸ˜†. That would be your punishement for taking so long πŸ˜›πŸ˜œ. Not my fault πŸ™ˆπŸ™Š

OK bye. 

Your soon to meet you bae πŸ˜šπŸ˜˜πŸ˜™ #OnDaysLikeThis #WhenINeedaHugSoBadly 



*Trotro : A commercial vehicule used for both long and short distance transportation; it’s a bus and it’s called that way in Ghana.

*manna : the food God fed Israelites while they journeyed through the desert to the promised land. In our modern days, the words God speak to us through other believers (or even unbelievers sometimes) can be considered as manna.

*Legal practitioners : a term I learnt from miss Stephanie Selaewoenam Adenyo. It refers to the legal right of married couples to have sex.

*ECG: the Electricity Company of Ghana

*Dum : the twi word for OFF, to litteraly mean blackout.


PS: DID you enjoy this ? Go ahead! HIT THE LIKE AND SHARE BUTTONS. FOLLOW ON FACEBOOK AND DON’T FORGET TO SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE ☺

SHOW ME THE MOVES

 Heya! The beautiful month of May which happens to be my birthday monthπŸ˜ƒ has began, so I think this motivation note is coming in just at the right time.

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When you write an anniversary post stating that you used to breakdance in your heydays and then few days later, you meet one of your readers and friend at church and he goes like: “show me the moves !” πŸ˜‚, what do you do ?

Well, I managed to convince him that we weren’t in an appropriate place so he should drop that idea.

Okay. I think I have to specify that the part I played in the group was that of being part of the choreographers. I didn’t exactly do the crazy moves like that girl is doing in the image up there πŸ˜„πŸ‘†. I left those to the guys and some other madly talented girls. 

On a more serious note though. I remember one of my dance partners and close friend whose aunt came to watch us dance on the night of our big show and later told her niece  (i. e. my friend) that she had no idea “heavily endowed-bodied “πŸ˜‚ people could move their bodies that way, so she thinks that she needs to start dancing too because after watching me, she now believes that she can! That woman and I’m pretty sure, many more people were impressed just like her.

Honnestly, look at me πŸ˜„

 If I can breakdance,  what can’t you do ? It’s true that in those days I wasn’t this much endowed but all the same, I loved dancing and I still do, so I went for it. I didn’t allow anyone tell me what they thought I could do or not do; not even my family.

I want you to realise that the only barrier standing between you and that dream you want to achieve is YOURSELF!  You are the first culprit if you’ve not made a single move towards your dream yet. Who tells you, you can’t do it ?!

It’s true and I do not neglect the fact that in those days, I had just entered teenagehood and I had very little consciousness of the way I looked. On a scale of 1 to 10, I was somewhere around 4 when it comes to being conscious of my physical appearance. And I’m glad it was that way because I’m happy I made someone else believe in herself ! Nowadays, the world has gone into a craze about how everyone should look like; unrealistic heavily airbrushed images are constantly shoved down our brains but the truth is, no matter how you think you look – to others and yourself- , IT’S NEVER A BARRIER . Truly, the problem is only in your mind! I have tested this for myself. You may feel like telling me, ” yeah. Nice one CeeJ but talk for yourself. You don’t know what I’m being faced with and this isn’t about breakdance “. Fine but whatever it is, just try ‘cos if you don’t, you’ll never know and you don’t wanna spend the rest of your life wondering : what if…

Plus, one thing is sure anyway, you’re going to gain either one of these two things: a success story or a learning experience πŸ˜‰. It’s never a failure.

But oh, one last thing. Did I forget to say ?: 

πŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺπŸ˜‰



PS: In case you missed the anniversary post πŸ‘‰https://ceej2016.wordpress.com/2017/04/13/one-year-older-so-lets-get-25-times-closer-PPS: I HOPE YOU GOT MOTIVATED 😊. REMEMBER TO HIT THE LIKE AND SHARE BUTTONS. SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE πŸ™‹!

ONE YEAR OLDER SO LET’S GET 25 TIMES CLOSER! πŸ˜‰

Hi y’all !!!

Yes, as real as it gets, CeeJ’s Blog  is one year old! Isn’t this amazing?

Wow, the last 12 months went by so fast. I didn’t think I’d make it this far. As a special one year anniversary post, I have decided to let you into my world a little bit more; after all you’ve been around taking your precious time to read what I have to say and I think this is well deserved and the little I can do in order to get even closer to you through my pen and not remain some kind of mirage or “unreachable little celebrity” (not a celebrity though😁). I’m going therefore to tell you 25 things I bet you didn’t know about me and my write-ups . However, before I do, I’d like to tell you about the Genesis of this Blog.

I started CeeJ’s Blog in the beginning of April last year (2016). I confess I do not recall the exact day and that is because I didn’t think I’d be celebrating an anniversary and would need to remember it one day. I started blogging out of having too much time on my hands because I had completed school and was about to spend a full year I didn’t plan on at home (I’m sure you’re wondering why. That story is being written and I promise to share it with you one day πŸ˜‰), not doing much. More than that, I started this Blog out of a burning passion and desire to communicate all that I knew was within me and that the Lord had given me to share with You ! πŸ‘‰ You, the one reading this ☺. Hiiiii πŸ™‹πŸ™‹πŸ™‹ !!! This blog is just the tip of the iceberg of the calling to be a writer that I know is on my life. I started CeeJ’s Blog with a desire to glorify the One who gives me these words to share. I did not start this blog with the aim of entertaining; nope. This blog may be many things but surely not an entertainment blog.  I started it because I felt bad that the Spirit of God always shared so much with me during my idle times especially and yet at the end of every conversation, I had not penned anything down; I felt guilty. I felt a burden to come out with this Blog and so much more to come. 

And so it started. And I wrote and wrote and wrote. When I write, I do it out of passion and I don’t bother about following technicalities and set rules for what a professional writer would say must go into writing. That might be my only sin but DOES I CARE ? πŸ˜„

Let’s see how much I wrote during those 12 months (these are not coming in their order of publication. Follow the links to read each one.)

1- NANA ( my first story series; 4 episodes ) :

Eps 1 https://ceej2016.wordpress.com/2016/05/16/nana/


2-CHRISTIANS SHOULD NOT DO POLITICS : https://ceej2016.wordpress.com/2016/11/02/christians-should-not-do-politics/


3-THE DAY I MEET YOU  1 : https://ceej2016.wordpress.com/2016/07/12/the-day-i-meet-you/


4-THE DAY I MEET YOU 2, THE TABOO POST (most shared) : https://ceej2016.wordpress.com/2017/02/10/the-day-i-meet-you-2/


5-THE PROCESS (personal favorite) : 

https://ceej2016.wordpress.com/2016/08/10/the-process-when-god-gives-you-a-vision-or-promise/

6-LET’S STAY INDOORS TODAY (first peom) : https://ceej2016.wordpress.com/2016/05/03/lets-stay-indoors-today/

7-YOU WERE ALMOST MY EX, parts 1 to 12 (most popular series):

https://ceej2016.wordpress.com/2016/09/21/you-were-almost-my-ex/  [eps 1]


8-DOWRY FOR FOREIGNERS (an analogy relating to the challenges of being a foreign student in Ghana):
https://ceej2016.wordpress.com/2017/01/30/dowry-for-foreigners/


9-ROMANCING GOD (very first write up as a guest blogger on Goldinwords.com; published by Benjamin Anyan): 

https://ceej2016.wordpress.com/2016/04/15/romancing-god-the-godldinwords-post/


10-PLEASE CONTACT MY PSYCHIATRIST :

https://ceej2016.wordpress.com/2016/10/25/please-contact-my-psychiatrist-he-specialises-in-emergencies-and-hopeless-cases-no-one-else-wants-to-take-or-everyone-else-has-given-up-on/


11-I AM ALLERGIC TO MEDIOCRITY :

https://ceej2016.wordpress.com/2016/04/15/allergic-to-mediocrity/


12-DIVINE AUTHENTICATION; Waiting on God’s public authentication stamp :

https://ceej2016.wordpress.com/2016/09/05/divine-authentication-waiting-for-gods-public-stamping/


13-BESTIE, BAE IS IN. WHAT HAPPENS NOW? : https://ceej2016.wordpress.com/2017/03/22/bestie-bae-is-in-what-happens-now/

14-THE WOMAN COLLECTOR 1 :

https://ceej2016.wordpress.com/2016/11/12/the-woman-collector


15 -THE WOMAN COLLECTOR 2 :

https://ceej2016.wordpress.com/2016/11/20/the-woman-collector-2/

16-A LETTER TO MY BELOVED BABY BROTHER (a birthday message to my younger brother) :

https://ceej2016.wordpress.com/2016/04/15/a-letter-to-my-beloved-baby-brother/


17- SHOULD YOU GET PAST HELLO ? :

https://ceej2016.wordpress.com/2017/01/08/should-you-get-pass-helo/


18- SOME OF YOU WILL NOT LIKE THIS BUT I PRAY YOU HEAR ME OUT ANYWAY :

https://ceej2016.wordpress.com/2016/04/14/some-of-you-will-not-like-this-but-i-pray-you-hear-me-anyway/


19- LORD, HE MUST BE A TEN OVER TEN. In Jesus’ name I pray, AMEN! :

https://ceej2016.wordpress.com/2016/06/25/lord-he-must-be-a-ten-over-ten-in-jesus-name-i-pray-amen/


20- WHEN YOU MEET HIM/HER :

https://ceej2016.wordpress.com/2016/12/14/when-you-meet-herhim/

20 pieces published in one year! Not bad at all, right ? This wonderful journey has allowed me to connect with a number of wonderful people such as:

My number one fan and personal person so far when it comes to CeeJ’s Blog : ever supportive miss ELORM DAKETSEY !!! Shall we give her a hand please ? This girl knows how to support someone ! Meeehn! 

Then it continued with more awesome people like: mr Etsey Freshie Atisu, miss Korngo Dosoo, miss Portia Nyarko, miss New-Version Pam and my other personal EYO squad and sisters (I won’t be mentioning their names here πŸ˜‰. They know themselves. A big shout out to you all) and last but not least at all, my most recently found boo: Mr Leslie more popularly known as Kossi Akplah. 

 I won’t lie to you, There were many times I almost gave up when I saw the super low number of likes, views and shares after all the hard input but then each time, I remembered what sir Anyan told me when he encouraged me to start this blog. He said something that went like this: “Don’t do it for the likes and shares. Write as though you are having a conversation with someone and do it with the mind that even if you can reach and touch just one life, you’ve reached your goal”. And so, I started this blog. Those words have carried me through the rocky times of being a beginner and lay blogger up to now.

If you know me personally then you probably also know that I am someone with a strong will and character who doesn’t easily back down. 

So, what brought the discouragement? In the world of blogging, we unfortunately have too many silent supporters and readers (for my liking). Yeah, it’s good you really like what that blogger writes but how would they know it and how would their work reach more heights and audience if people like you and I don’t care to share or give even just a like or a few words of encouragement ?! What hurts more is the fact that people you call friends, don’t always show their support as they should when you engage into something new. It’s not just with blogging, it happens in every other aspect of life.

The discouragement I experienced quite often also came from the fact that some of the people I thought I could count on without a doubt, either never showed their support like I expected and like I did with some of them when they were on the same journey or they did but just dropped my hand in the middle of the journey. What happened ? That I can’t tell. 

But like David, I had to learn to encourage myself in the Lord and all the same, the journey was and remains worth it ! I realise how much more worth it it is when I go to a program and someone comes to me saying ” hi. I’ve read or I read your blog and I admire you so much. You’re doing a great job and opening eyes, keep it up”or again when I receive amazing testimonies inbox on Facebook or whatsapp because of a post I wrote. The feeling ? Priceless! My whole world gets lit up and I just can’t hide the wide grin of gratitude on my face. Such fantastic people, keep me going. 

Now on to the list I announced in the introduction πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡

TWENTY-FIVE  THINGS I BET YOU DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT ME AND MY WRITE UPS: 

1.  I used to breakdance. I was part of my school’s breakdance club (the type of dance associated to hip hop) when I was in Junior High School. We danced before crowds coming from other high schools during our cultural week. My school was one of the most popular ones in town and I kind of was too. Yeah…I was my own kind of thug like that, you know πŸ˜ŽπŸ˜‚.

2. I am 100% a francophone from Togo

3. One of my dreams as a child was to one day be able to speak perfect English (from Britain) . Lol. #StillGettingThere

4. I’m not supsosed to start chatting with anyone until I get my quiet time done in the morning. #StillWorkingOnThat πŸ™ˆ.

5. Twiceβ€” but probably more times than I would ever knowβ€” God litteraly saved my life while death was starring me in the face. (Stories to be told later πŸ˜‰)

6. I was not born into a christian family. Yup 😊! Surprised? 

7. You can see me with socks even while it’s hot outside, cos I get cold feet -physically- very often. 

8. I love the smell of clean and the view of a nicely made bed. I’m crazy about fancy bedsheets. #Bedsheets junky

9. When I was little, I used to wish I was a boy. I was so obsessed with this desire that I one day tried peeing while standing. Don’t ask me if I succeeded and don’t ask me why I did that πŸ˜‚, I don’t know it myself. 

10. I’m a crazy and happy person who doesn’t seem like one at first sight but trust me, I am fun πŸ˜‰.

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I’m awesome like that 😜

11. I’m not as old as you think 😜; still in my 20’s. People always think I’m a grandmother already. πŸ˜žπŸ˜• Why? Just WHY ???

12. If you’re my friend, I am ready to do just anything for you ‘cos I really don’t know how to measure love and attention. πŸ’—

13. I’m a member of EYO; Excellent Youth Outreach (a non denotminational youth ministry founded by Pastor John Gordon Egyir-Croffet ) where I was connected to purpose and destiny and was propelled to another level in my walk with God. 

14. Mr Anyan Benjamin of Goldinwords.com is the one who encouraged me to start my blog; I was so scared πŸ™Š (What if no one reads it? What if it sucks?  What if no one shares? What if it’s a failure? Etc…) . My first ever published write-up β€”ROMANCING GODβ€” was on their blog as a guest blogger. 

15. Give me Couscous [Wait. What? You don’t know what Couscous is? Awww…You’re missing out on a lot in this life], chicken and a riped, multicouloured, not too soft, exquisitely perfumed mango and you’ll make me the happiest person on earth. πŸ˜„

16. Almost every time I share a new piece with you, I’m actually sharing with you a piece of myself. Most of my write ups stem from experiences; What can I talk to you best about other than that which I have experienced myself ? 😊 That is why what I write is like 80% reality and 20% fiction. 

17. The YOU WERE ALMOST MY EX series was actually a single story that I ended up stretching into 12 episodes.

18. I am scared everytime I have to put up a new post πŸ˜³πŸ™ŠπŸ™ˆ. I’m worried that no one would like or read it. That fear even causes me to postpone publishing sometimes. That is why I have quite a stock of unpublished write ups.

19. I was a prodigal daughter whom the Lord found again when I was in SHS 1 before it was too late. Yes ! 

20- I have a B.A. degree in French and English Translation with Spanish as my third language

21. I am currently working on getting a Masters Degree in Conference Interpretation.

22. I have 4 siblings and I am the third one; right in the middle.

23. I sing and I am a praise and worship leader. The world is yet to discover that side of me.

24. Nana from my first series NANA and Adjoa from YOU WERE ALMOST MY EX are truly based on true life stories like I said. The main characters in these two stories are one and the same and a real human being

25. And that Human Being is MOI ! Once again, Hiii! 😊

Bonus number- 26: This is the one most people don’t believe😁: I AM STILL WAITING ON MY MAN OF GOD and it’s going to be so worth it πŸ˜‰πŸ˜ŒβœŒ. Watch out !



PS: NANA and  YOU WERE ALMOST MY EX are portions of my testimony and I’m standing unashamed to share it for the Lord’s glory. Of course, some parts of these stories are still fiction. You can follow the links in the list of posts and read them. 

PPS: DID you enjoy our one year celebration post ? My longest so far  if I am not mistakenπŸ˜„. I hope you did and that you REMEMBER TO HIT THE LIKE AND SHARE BUTTONS. Thanks for stopping by. The pleasure was all mine πŸ˜‰. 

BESTIE. BAE IS IN! WHAT HAPPENS NOW ?!

Hey guys! I am first of all so sorry for vanishing the way I did. Life just got so busy with being a student again,  finding myself a new place, then moving in after having found it. Pphew!πŸ˜“  It was a real battle πŸ˜„ but thanks be to God, I won and I’m coming out stronger.

I have so much in stock ooh. Will try not to disappear again😊. Now, I hope you enjoy this come back post πŸ˜‰

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WHAT HAPPENS TO SUPER CLOSE FRIEND WHEN BAE MAKES HIS/HER ENTRY  ?

Whatever I am about to say now, I say from my own experience. Someone’s experience might be different  (I’ll be glad to hear about that) and they might therefore not agree with what follows, and that is totally fine.

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In this particular scenarioπŸ‘‡

You have someone of the opposit sex as a very close friend or as your best friend, but you guys don’t intend to get into a relationship and get married because he/she has a bae they are secretly in love with and in the near future they’ve already appointed you as the head of their wedding committee. 

Everything is so blissful between you guys. You open up to each other, share secrets and memories, share the same passions…. You know every little detail about them. How they think that it is weird to offer people gifts on their birthdays or this childish but cute fear they have of lightning and thunder when it’s raining cats and dogs. You guys just “entertwine” and at the same time “insividualise” so well. And that manner they have of hugging you everytime you guys meet up that says: “yeah, I missed you too and you mean so much to me” just feels like heaven. The feeling topped up with the crazy laughs and late night unending chats? Indescribable. 😊😍

But then, that fateful day is gonna come when they finally get to propose to bae and bae says yes. So now they’re together and you’ve  more or less become a third wheel.

The truth of the matter is, wether you like it or not, there is a choice he/she is naturally gonna have to make, ‘cos bae is not just bae, bae is bestie of life too; best friend forever. Therefore, keeping you around and trying to keep things the way they were between you two will only complicate things.

So here is what’s gonna happen in most cases:

It’either you become bae (which is now mathematically impossible because there can only be one bae. If you both try forcing things to remain the same, it will result into emotional or even physical cheating) because being intimate friends with someone entails spending lots of time with each other wether through social media and phone calls or in person. And the one entering a relationship would have to “cheat” or deprive his/her new boyfriend or girlfriend of such amounts of time in order to spend it with you the best or close friend. One way or the other, someone is going to be deprived and have to suffer for the other party to enjoy.

Or you have to “clear off” i. e.  gradually vanish into the scenerie,’cos one thing is sure: at some point, you guys can no longer have the same level of intimacy or closeness you used to have.
When I talk of you having to clear off, I don’t mean your friendship would totally die by all means, but what would be left of it once bae is in, won’t (and shouldn’t ) be much. Your intimacy would go from let’s say level 20 to level 1. Yeah, that bad; that serious. Sowiii. 
So if it should happen that your friendship ended even before he/she found and got bae, you should just look at things from the bright side: it was gonna happen anyway.

Maybe not in such a dramatic way but the reduction of intimacy level was unavoidable. So just keep your smile on and thank God anyways.

And for you the gentlemen especially, know and accept this: IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP AND HAVE A FEMALE AS YOUR BEST FRIEND. It just doesn’t work! Remember that women are emotional creatures and you’ll have to make a choice at some point. No, you can’t have both. I’m sorry but that’s just the way it is. 



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THE DAY I MEET YOU 2 – THE TABOO POST

​HelOoo! πŸ™‹ I hope you’ll love this controversial piece from my deepest thoughts. Did you miss Part 1? No worries, just follow this link:Β 

https://ceej2016.wordpress.com/2016/07/12/the-day-i-meet-you/

Happy reading !Β 

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Baby, how are you doing today?

I’m missing you a lot. Still thinking about that day

The day I meet you

So I thought why not write you another letter. Maybe it will reach you earlier than I know. All things are possible, right ?

You know, one of the things I had promised myself is that you wouldn’t come and find me like this

I am referring to my life long battle with extra pounds . You wouldn’t believe it if I told you all the crazy things I have done to make them go

About a little over a year ago, I got closer to my goal than ever. But a full year at home gave them the time to come back and even bring some friends with themselves.

I was so disappointed and mad at myself. I almost panicked knowing that the time for you to be here in this life of mine is getting closer and closer

But then I have decided to see the brighter side of this whole thing: if you meet me as I am now πŸ™ˆ and love me…like I know you will

Then I have nothing to worry about

Anyway, daddy always tells me that the man I marry is going to love EVERY part of me; my bourrelets d’amours* included πŸ˜‰πŸ˜

But make no mistake please, the fact that I wanna look and stay healthy by cutting a few kilos down doesn’t mean I doubt how beautiful and sexy this body of mine is.

I promise you this has nothing to do with low self-esteem. You can ask miss Peace Thonard who inspired me to write this second epistle or miss Dosoo Korkor whom I affectionately call Kinshasa

They’ll tell you all about how no one has more self-esteem and confidence than I do. Well, on some days more than others I guess. Lol

I also want you to know that, this is not to say I am giving up on this anti-kilos campaign I’m on.

It’s not all about having you awestruck when you see me from day one, it’s also about my own health and increasing my sex-appeal level πŸ˜‰

Yes, I said it!

They day I meet you,

There are a number of things I have to warn you about though

I am not the kind of Christian woman who is afraid to talk about sex (in the proper context) or how to be a married woman with a killer sex life.

In fact I even plan to have such a special women’s ministry.

I believe that most of our ladies (about to be married and married) seriously lack that sex education component in their knowledge baggage.

Many marriages are hitting the rocks because madam has no sex life BECAUSE she think it’s unholy to use positions in bed other than those in the “Holy Sutra” agreed on by the Church. Hence her frequent use of the star-fish position

Come on in boo boo! I’m all ready! Just do ya thing

where all she does is lie down there like a log of wood while hubby does all the work

BECAUSE they think it unholy to wear certain kind of underwear or piece of clothing (in the privacy of their home) so that hubby goes wild when he sees them

They’d rather stick to the kind of panties and brassieres our grandmothers wore during last century because “I am a Pastor’s wife”. JeZOz! 😡😨😱

But I don’t Β totally blame my ladies. No one thought them what they needed to be thought because such things are widely taboo beginning from our (christian) homes, so how much more in Church!

Baby, GOD. MADE. SEX. for Christ sake!!

Don’t you think He’d want us to put every chance on our side so we can enjoy it? If it was just for making babies, then it should be “tasteless”

Darling, when it’s time to preach and teach, you’ll find me rightly standing behind the pulpit with fire on my tongue and anointing dripping from my head

But when it’s “time for the time” or even that time before the time, you’ll find a different kind of woman with the proper fire and anointing for the circumstances

My other warning has to do with the expression of my love

You remember in my last letter, I spoke of the fact that I don’t know how to do things half way ? Right

I really don’t know how to be: half a friend, half a girlfriend, half a wife… It’s either I’m all up in it or I’m totally not

Many a people find it hard to understand the kind of passion that I come to everything that I do with and they can’t stand the kind of emotions I bring

I really don’t know how to dish out feelings with a measurement ladle. I’d be fake doing that and being fake is not part of my DNA coding

I’ll love you in a way no woman has ever dared to. I don’t even think I wanna have the patience for you to start first before I show you all the diverse manners in which I can love you

I’ll wait for you to give the “coup d’envoi”* though ‘cos I know you are the pursuer and I don’t wanna take that from you
My love can seem overwhelming and choking at times, but baby, I’ll learn

And together we’ll grow

I’m currently taking another one of my patience and long-suffering exams again and Baby, it’s hard! Real hard and stressful but again, you’re more than worth it

People always tell me about how great an adviser I can be. However, I do not allow this to get into my head. I am aware love is that decision that stays after the butterflies have stopped flapping their wings in my tummy

And theory may be harder than practice because having theoretical knowledge (book knowledge) about a certain field doesn’t automatically make you an expert in it. Practice is the real thing.
And oh, before I forget…

I recently came across someone who is beginning to look more and more like you. But don’t worry. I am being extra careful cos I’m aware that copies can sometimes look exactly like the original.

I hope it’s not you playing tricks on me though πŸ‘€

Cos I’d make you pay for that the day I meet you 😏

You better hurry up.

How long do you think a girl can keep an oreo chocolate ice cream without being tempted ? I know I love you but…

Come on !! Let’s not exaggerate πŸ˜„

Your soon to meet you bae. On days like this when I need a hug so badly 😊



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DOWRY FOR FOREIGNERSΒ 

The spoon I was using for my ice cream almost fell out of my hand. The scoop in my mouth felt hot as if cooked on fire. “Sorry, you said…?” I asked for a second time while I swallowed hard. My ears tingled more and more and I felt dizzy as though under a spell. I couldn’t believe what I just heard from my brother in-law to be.

Jean-Jacques was one of Erica’s two brothers who lived abroad. I heard he was around, so I took the opportunity to get to know him on a more personal note.

The beautifully enclosed garden of LA PIEDRA italian restaurant where I had invited him for lunch in an attempt to get myself an ally and at the same time get more information on what my bride to be’s dowry requirements would be like suddenly felt air tight.

My neck tie felt even tighter as though pulled backward by an invisible hand. I was not ready for this at all .
I clearly remember about 10 years ago when my eldest cousin was getting ready to tie the knot. At the time, I was only 18. He came to me all excited with that goofy lover grin on his face. You know, the one guys have on all the time when they’re really in love and can’t hide it. That one that makes them look somewhat silly. Lol

He had just discovered that the dowry he would be paying for marrying his beloved was so “simple” , he had nothing to worry about. He could pay for everything himself. There was no need to borrow from a bank or sell anything of value he had. The family had simply requested for:

One liter of pure akpeteshi.

Twelve bottles of other alcoholic drinks,

two crates of soft drinks and a 50 000 Francs envelope.

In his excitement, his cousin told him, you’d be lucky and blessed if you get a girl from the Guinea Golf to marry ooh. An Ewe one especially.

So what wasn’t my joy when I met Erica several year later. We had been courting for almost 2 and a half years now and it was time they made it official so I could get to taste “the do” if you know what I mean. Yeah, I was a practicing christian and tasting “the do” before both official and divine permission to taste it though very tempting due to Erica’s curvaceous body wasn’t allowed. That girl eeh… It was a dangerous thing to drag your feet when walking with her, the visions her back offered would lead you into the nearest gutter before you knew it.

I, Kwaku Amponsah DeWelsh, a fresh university graduate who got a job at FaWoSikaBraeh* bank for only a year now. Where was I supposed to get the money for such a skyrocketing dowry ?πŸ˜²πŸ˜¨πŸ˜³πŸ™† :

25 000 dollars in cash

1 Bentley

12 crates of soft drinks

20 cartons of MoΓ«t Chandon and other alcoholic drinks

5 cows and 4 white she-goats

A 4 acres lands in Accra airport city and 6 diverse bundles of Vlisco cloths.

“Ewurade mewu!*” I thought to myself. How on earth do I do this? Even if I sold my father, mother and 5 siblings, I couldn’t get the money for such a dowry.
I managed to regain some composure and ask my now friend (or so I thought) and prospective brother in-law in a semi-distraught semi-jokingly tone : but why is it that way? My cousin whose mother is even from your country married a lady from your tribe and the dowry was so light. Since when did it change ?

He put a hand on my shoulder, smiled and replied: but you are a foreigner; 100% a foreigner. And that’s the dowry for foreigners. We can’t request from outsiders, the exact same things we request from our own brothers.

Dowry for foreigners ?!

You must be kidding, right? I asked while laughing nervously. My country is like a stone throw away from yours. We are almost from the same land bro. People who live in our closest town to your country, even cross the border everyday to school or work in yours and vice versa ooh. Why the division? We ought to be united, Β I added hoping to turn things around.

That was when Jean-Jacques asked the question that shut me up for good: can you please show me your passport, sir? At that point, I knew I was finished and my love story with Erica over. This stone hearted prospective in-law of mine had just proved me they weren’t going to budge. No mercy for the foreigner I was. I was an opportunity; a golden cow and they were going to milk me to the bones.

Before I could think of what to say next, he continued: ” And since you like talking unity, before you try reasoning that both our countries belong to the Federation of United West African Nations (FUWAN), let me take you down there. You are an educated man and you of all people should know that, that thing is an illusion, is bogus and only works on paper. In real life, there is no United Federation whatsoever. Massa, you can complain all you want ooh, that’s how it is now, has always been and will always be. My family did not invent this. It’s the new world order. EgbΓ© oo, Γ©lΓ΅n oo…ohOoo !!!” *

EgbΓ© Ooh…ElΓ΅n ooh…OhOoo

Unbelievable.

I went home more pissed than sad.

“Foreigner…Foreigner…Foreigner…!!!! As if that was the first word they learnt the day they came out of their mothers’ womb. πŸ˜‘πŸ˜’πŸ˜’Mtcheeew! And so what? A hustling foreigner must not marry? And what is it with the dollars sef? Can’t they collect money in their own currency? It’s Β people like them who are bringing their country’s economy down. Eii Ewiase! Why are people so heartless? What do I do now? Run away with the girl or kidnapp her? Oh naaa…Unfortunately this is real life and not some tele novela. Hmm. It is well. God is watching. One day one day…They’ve forgotten there is a God eeh, and a judgement day coming.”

In a last attempt to fix things, he reluctantly picked his phone to call his soon to be exed darling. She immediately picked up and was greeted with a cold “hello madam” instead of the excited usual “hey baby doll”.

-What’s wrong darling, she asked.

-Everything is wrong! Kweku replied almost raising his voice. I spoke to your brother today and it seems this is the end of us, unless you agree to help me on this one.

-Help you how?

-You know I love you with my life and I could give my last breath for you, but please, can’t you speak to your dad about reviewing the items on your dowry list? Β Maybe he will listen to you.

-hmm. Kweku, I love you too but as for that one… . Whatever my dad and brothers say is what goes. There’s nothing I can do about it.

Kweku opened his mouth in disbelief for the second time that day and no words could come out.

-Hello…Hello…baby are you there? Please try to…

Puuun…puuun…puuun… The line went dead before she could place another word. He hanged up. He had heard enough. With the back of his hand, he wiped the single silent tear that had rolled down from the corner of his left eye.

That night, he laid wide awake in bed till dawn, wishing God would bring some kind of punishment down on Erica’s family and Jean-Jacques especially. He did not have the strength to pick up when she started calling back and texting. It would have turned into an ugly phone fight leading nowhere and that was the last thing he needed. In his heart, he was mad at her. He was mad because he suspected she was aware of it all but never said a word. Why did she make him waste almost 3 years of his life? “And oh God! After all the waiting I just did. If I had chopped some mmom, it would have been better. Well, let me not be silly but truth is, this is now paining me the more. Ash3 me roff. Β Eeii…I can’t believe I’m gonna miss out on all that goodness. ”

He put his phone on airplane mode to stop the calls and messages.

Surely, the tables would turn around one day. He’s also got sisters and cousins to marry and karma is a bitch, they say. Β  Β He nervously closed his eyes while searching for sleep and trying to keep the image of Erica’s bountiful goddess body out of his mind.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

THE END ☺


*Ewurade mewu: Lord, I’m dead!Β 

*FaWoSikaBraeh : Bring your money

*EgbΓ© Oooh…Elon Oooh…OhOoo : Wether you like it or not…

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SHOULD YOU GET PAST “HELLO” ?

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Do you remember this quote πŸ‘‡from the latest series I wrote titled YOU WERE ALMOST MY EX (read here: https://ceej2016.wordpress.com/2016/09/21/you-were-almost-my-ex/)? In episode 4 where it appeared, I talked about something I’d now like to expand on; a lesson.

Two things inspired me to write this piece: a conversation I recently had with a friend who confided in me about the kind of struggle I am about to talk about and then,  reading the latest article from Erin Nichole’s Blog (HEALING FROM A FAILED ENGAGEMENT: http://www.loveerinnichole.com/2017/01/healing-from-failed-engagement.html?m=1). The level of transparency in that post encouraged me and made me want to share this and so much more to come (my story is a whole encyclopedia and I will share it bit by bit as the Lord leads me and gives me the courage to 😊). After all, doesn’t the Bible say that we go through what we do not just for our sake but for the sake of others? Alright. 

So, you noticed this cute girl/guy on social media, in your office, neighborhood, school, at the mall or group outing and you are wondering if you should go say helo? Or now, you have said helo and you’re just thinking if you shouldn’t go ahead and collect her/his number ? You know you walked over to them because of that feeling on the inside. It feels like… LUST. You know it is lust but you still go ahead because, hey, they are so dead gorgeous and you guys may never meet again…You’ve managed to convince yourself that you could just be friends after all, right? There is no harm in that. Plus, you are going to make sure that, that lust-founded attraction dies down anyway for you trust in your ability to treat them as brothers/sisters in all purity. πŸ˜† heehee

At this juncture, let me tell you a little story. Throwback to 3 years ago. 

So, there I was, about to fall in love again with a guy I knew I had no permission to take long desire-filled looks at. This wasn’t the first time. My stubbornness had gotten me into unbelievably unpleasant situations.

I meet him during one of the two annual youth camps I go to almost every year. I’m not going to mention his name of course. He could be your cousin or uncle and I don’t want you to go and do Konkonsa*. Lol πŸ˜„πŸ˜œHe came to visit a friend and mutual acquaintance and before my heart leaped and I made a move, the warning from the sweet gentle voice was coming in already, but of course I stifled the persisting: “Don’t do this Constante. This one is not yours. Stay away. You’re gonna regret this”. I was now standing in front of him, grining from one ear to the other and introducing myself. Hand shakes and names exchanged. I wasn’t the only one with eyes over there, therefore I saw many butterflies flapping their wings around him of course. But what wasn’t my surprise when he came to spend a few minutes with me and get my number while I sat away in my corner, quietly eating my piece of the birthday cake of that evening. He stood pretty close in front of me so we could hear each other when we talked ‘cos the music was loud.

 You could see some sparkles flying between us like fireflies on a moonless night. He was gone few moments later after a reaffirmed promise of calling me. I was elated.
From there, calls became frequent, giggles without reason, I miss you texts (mostly from me, I must admit) and a stop by anytime he was in Accra ( ‘cos he wasn’t and God knows what would have happened if he was). We never got physical and I thank God for that. I wanted him; I wanted him to be the one and when it came to us, for more than a year, I shut God out. It was the part of my life I didn’t let Him talk to me about. I was going after what I wanted. I was determined and I was letting it happen. 

I fell in love and I fell hard; very hard. I tried as much as possible to deny it to myself. The only moment I finally agreed I was, was when it was time for me to hug my pillow tight and cry myself to sleep for months every night. 

 My heart ached; litteraly. It was awful. I never knew something as immaterial as emotions could manifest in such a physical manner. No one had ever told me that when your heart ached in emotions, it also ached in your very chest. I had never experienced that before. That should tell you how hard I fell. 

How did the hurting and healing part eventually happen?

It was either things got lustfully physical (and we’re getting extremely and  dangerously close to the non-return line) and I had to break everything off like I knew I’d have to from the very beginning or I ended up discovering that the feelings weren’t exactly mutual or they already had their eyes on someone else.

Reason why I am telling you all of this ?So many times we find ourselves entangled in situations we should have never even been in with a guy/a lady whom we should have never get passed HELLO with. We end up having our hearts broken and our purity defiled because we allowed “strangers” to sweet talk and woo us without the Spirit’s permission.

If you’d be honest with yourself, you’d agree that: You did feel that inner voice prompting you when you took the first gaze 

 and then when you decided to take another one, longer this time, get closer, prolonge the conversation a little bit more than you should 

and when you finally in an ultimate act of disobedience, decided to give them your number or collect theirs. I lie? Well, I felt the promptings everytime. I convinced myself I could play with fire without getting burned or my clothes smelling smoke. I was wrong! Each and everytime. I learnt the hard way that ignoring the Spirit’s warnings was dangerous and expensive.

Don’t lie to yourself like I did too many times. You like her/him, she/he likes you back but you are very much aware that their Christian life or relationship with God is almost non-existant… You guys are gonna be spending a lot of time together physically  and/or talking on the phone… Feelings are gonna build up. You will get attached. Your heart will get attached and when it’s time to obey and part, it will hurt !  

Don’t entertain what you know very well is dangerous and forbidden you. The secret lies in not beginning at all. 

I am sharing this to you πŸ‘‰. Yes, you the one reading this. So that if you have found yourself in any such situation before and are wondering how to prevent this from happening again because like most humans, you just have an appetite for forbidden things and it seems you can’t help it, know that there is a remedy. Check in with your heavenly Father through His counselor, the Holy Spirit and pay heed. Guard your heart () If you have a relationship with Him, you’ll  always hear the warning. 

Remember. The spell only works before the snake bites. Once it has (because in this case you let it), it doesn’t work and the recovery process is painful. You don’t wanna go through that. 

*Konkonsa : gossip

*PrΓ©venir vaut mieux que guΓ©rir: To prevent is better than to heal


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WHEN YOU MEET HIM/HER

​

Something not so new actually. Something I have kept in my cupboard for a long time and I am only finishing now. I hope you enjoy it πŸ™‚

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To my ladies and gentlemen,
Who have been fortunate enough to hear from God about their future spouse. I mean, thanks to prophecies or words of knowledge, revelations or dreams, you by now have little details as to : what kind of job they would be doing, what they studied in school, how old you would be when you meet them and even what the​​y would look like etc. β€‹

​Now. Has it ever occured to you that maybe the future God spoke to you about with them, is a future from after meeting them and not from when you meet them? β€‹

​What do I mean ? 
Here. A little story first.

I once went for a prophetic program where the man of God recounted this anecdote:

A lady who had promised herself she will never marry a man of God, was prophesied to about marrying one in the future. She vehemently rejected the prophecy and thus made sure she rejected proposals from any such men as well. 

Then finally, her kind of β€œprince charming” came around. A young man who worked in the corporate world as a banker. She gleefully accepted his proposal and they got married. Six months into their marriage, the man announced to her that he was going to resign from his job and enrol into Bible school because he had received the call of God into ministry 😱:o😂.  So bottom line, this lady ended up right back with what she was running away from. The word God spoke through His prophet, still came to pass. 

I have heard that some ladies have the same issue; they have such an aversion for the idea of marrying a man who is into full time or even part time ministry and I can’t clearly figure out why.

Well, maybe you’d tell me that I don’t know all the sttrugles and trials it comes with. And you would be right ‘cos I’m yet to get married but I still think that there is nothing more honorable and beautiful than doing life and ministry together with the love of your life! It is not necessarily about pastoring a church and all that. There are a thousand and one ways of doing ministry. 

And it takes you into a whirlwind and depth of intimacy that cannot be discovered and experienced any other way. The way I can connect with a man who knows how to protect and cover me not just physically but also spiritually, a man who can feed my spirit the word and help me grip my Savior’s hand tighter… is certainly not the same as with a man who can do none of that. Mheeen!! This is worth all the romance in the world. To me, this is romance 2.0    😄

Well, there are just some things you won’t fully grasp until you get there.

Revenons Γ  nos moutons*.

The little story I just told you seemed to be on the negative side. Let’s get to a more positive sounding one. Maybe in your case, God said your future spouse would be very wealthy​, a business tycoon or ministry one heading mega churches and world renowned. Or God said, they would be a very famous gospel singer or one of the scientists who would make unprecedented discoveries in our times, 

​or a respected political figure in your country. Or again, He just said something about their attributes and character: someone so gentle, loving, amazing, kind with refined tastes etc…

So, yes, I agree God has given you details but did HE put time stickers on them?​

When you meet them, they may not yet be everything that God told you they would be.  Maybe you would marry that woman or man before they become all or some of the things God said. Maybe you would marry them before they FULLY become THE WOMAN OR MAN OF YOUR DREAMS. β€‹

So, I want to encourage you not to throw in the towel or throw the whole package away just because when you held and shook it, it didn’t feel heavy enough or the sound it gave from within doesn’t seem encouraging.​

Who would throw this beauty away without taking the time to open it? ☺

 You haven’t opened it yet. Who throws away a parcel without even taking the time to take off the wrapping paper and look inside first?! That would be crazy, right?

Well, unless you know it’s a poisoned one. But that’s another story. 

Doing marriage can be likened to slowly unwrapping a gift/parcel for the rest of your life; very slowly. β€‹β€‹β€‹

That gift has multiple compartments. Sometimes you are pleasantly surprised, some other times, you’re simply not.

I nevertheless need to say this for clarification:

There is of course, a set of things that must be there before the wedding (it is normal to expect seeing these). They are the basics or the foundations on which everything else will be built. I am referring to standards and values (Read more here:    https://ceej2016.wordpress.com/2016/06/25/lord-he-must-be-a-ten-over-ten-in-jesus-name-i-pray-amen/  ) and they vary from one person to the other. It is best if they harmonise. They are things like: 

-You must share the same faith (foundational beliefs, doctrines and all to be discussed in order to avoid future confusion in the home) 

-They must have a relationship with God and be ready and willing to protect your purity (brothers are expected to lead over here especially, lol)

– Your purposes or callings should feet together (that is best)

– They must be financially independant (I didn’t say rich. There’s a difference) and emotionally and spiritually matured (preferably)

– You should be physically attracted to them (it is not adviseable to marry someone you are not attracted to and then expect to fall in love later) 

Etc.

These are things I’d advise that you should see in the now. It is unwise and dangerous to put these in the future hopes or expectations box. 

Alright. Revenons Γ  nos moutons*, one more time.

I always loved Pastor Mrs. Heather Lindsey’s testimony about how everyday, God is more and more changing her husband into the man of her dreams ( especially character wise; he was not an already made man). Who would believe that during the first year of their marriage, she wanted out? The same man she wanted to divorce less than or just a year after marrying him, is the same one, she is head over heels in love with today! 

You’re wondering how it happened, right?

She said she learnt to take her complaints and frustrations about her husband to God EVERY TIME, instead of to her man; instead of throwing them at him and becoming a nagging wife, she chose to take it all to God in prayer each time. And she was amazed what God did for every request. 

Pastor Mrs. Faith Oyedepo and mrs. Joyce Meyer (in her book: ME AND MY BIG MOUTH. I’d advice you to get and read this.) who are also well know women of God, have given similar testimonies about some period in their marriage.

Is it easy to take it to God instead of out on your partner? NO ! Not at all. 

Is it impossible? Also no.

It is in our human nature to want to vent to someone or react as soon as we are hurt or disappointed, especially if you grew up learning to be a complainer, surrounded by complainers, negativity and criticism all day long. 

But what does my God say? 

That I, You, we, CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGHTENS us.

I believe those words are forever true. I also believe it will take being disciplined and being a prayerful and Spirit led wife/husband. β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹

​Say this prayer with me: my marriage won’t be part of the broken home and divorce statistics! I know and I keep learning how to wait and how to fight in prayer. Amen! β€‹



* Revenons a nos moutons: french version of : back to the matter. 

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THE WOMAN COLLECTOR – 2

This is a sequel to the first post I wrote on this same topic. If you haven’t read it, please scroll down to the bottom and follow the backward arrow to the post. Happy reading! 
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The danger in holding on to a woman collector is that, because of the strong dependency bond he forms with you, you in the meanwhile cut every other male off who tries to gain any kind of closeness to you in the same manner, hoping that things will eventually progress with him.
You unconsciously feel as though getting close to any other man would be a betrayal to what you two have and when you are in this state, you can surely not be connected to your true God-ordained spouse. Even if he appears in your life at that time, you’d probably not give him a chance and not recognise him because your hope is still elsewhere. 

Mrs. Heather Lindsey spoke about how she had a woman collector in her own life for 7 years! For seven good years she in her mind and heart dated someone who wasn’t dating her. For seven years, she kept up the hope of finally getting an actual proposal and she had the door shut to any other man. A collector can make you waste your life away without you even realising it. Shortly after she broke all ties with this man, she meet her husband: Cornelius Lindsey. 

TO THE WOMAN COLLECTOR:

If you recognize any of the previously mentioned traits (read first post on this topic) in your behaviour towards people of the opposite sex, you need to stop and repent now. If you have a hard time accepting that you are this kind of person, ask the Holy Spirit to open your eyes and show you what you can’t see about yourself. The longer you resist the truth, the harder it will be to let go and the more damage you’ll keep doing around you. Remember you’ll be a father one day. I can assure you, you don’t want your daughter (or son) meeting someone like that and going through something like this.

You may or may not be aware of what you are doing because it probably became second nature to you; it is just the way you are, you say. You can’t help getting (super) close to ladies.

Like Doctor Suyini Fiawo, former president of EYO* Korle-bu said during one of our programs dubbed Love feast : you cannot just go about forming this type of intimate bond (sex being involved or not) with every one of the opposite sex. It is so UNHEALTHY! This can be equated to emotional prostitution. 

You are going about bruising and braking hearts, wasting people’s lives and opportunities to have someone great to build and do life with.


TO THE VICTIMS:

If you identify an individual with any such traits in your life and find yourself in such a situation: time to let little birdie fly, sis! Yeah, I know. You’ve waited for so long and you think he might finally choose you and propose tomorrow. You don’t know that! It doesn’t matter how long it’s been. You gotta let go for your own good!

It can and may affect you mentally if you persist on keeping up the hope of having something more with a woman collector. Whatever touches the heart, affects the brain and is harmful on the long run if it’s something negative.

 Ask Doctor Elorm Daketsey if I’m lying πŸ˜‰

Make no mistake. From the very beginning, a woman collector always knows who he wants. If it’s not you right now, it will never be you.

NOTA BIEN : Do not be deceived, any male at all can be a collector. It doesn’t matter if he is a very spiritus-santus brother or not. He could be your pastor, your shepherd at church, your mentor, your role model etc. 

May the Lord heal your heart and give you the strength to break all the ties that bind and move on. And when He shuts that door, may He give you the strength not to open it again.

TO MY BROTHERS,

Many of you have found yourselves in entangling situations where you were being accused by a sister/female friend of having “led them on”. You stand amazed and wonder why because getting her to fall for you was never your intention. You were just being a nice and caring brother/friend like you know how to. Right?

You need to know this; it is a fact: Women think and feel things differently from men. When as a male friend, you spend all your time lavishing lots of your attention on a lady: giving her all of your time, buying her little tokens of affection, always being there for her, taking her out, letting her cry on your shoulder and consoling her, becoming her confident or bestie, clearly showing her that she matters to you more than other lady friends of you do, giving her a pet name and showering her with sweet words, getting her, her favourite food for no reason at 11 in the night when you live in Dansoman and she in east legon, going on late night walks together, helping her do grocery shopping or move to her new place, coming over just to fix that bathroom bulb she said got burnt just yesterday because she can’t bath in the dark ‘cos she is afraid of it, giving her hours long late night phone calls, texting her all the time and having deep and intimate conversations with her etc etc. 

SHE IS GONNA FEEL SPECIAL! In fact, SHE WILL FEEL VERY SPECIAL and this ain’t no magic! It’s just normal and you can’t blame her for it. So when you in the end, go on and propose to Ama Akisi Nyameba, that pretty girl in Legon hall whom you actually always had your mind on all this while (and about whom you told her), she may not say it but she’s gonna feel sad, very sad, hurt, played, used, SHE IS GONNA FEEL AND SAY THAT YOU LED HER ON! And as she is reading this now, she might have started thinking that you are a WOMAN COLLECTOR. Lol.
Someone argued with me that not all ladies are that way; not all ladies end up having feelings for a male friend they got really close to or intimate with. Well, I say whatever. I say, if she didn’t then there must be a reason: she was either already in a relationship (yeah, some people don’t know how to set emotional and intimacy boundaries in friendship even after they start courting) or on her way to one. Or, flat-out, she is related to you; blood related (even in this case, nothing is guaranteed. I know of cousins who ended up having feelings for cousins and unfortunately went too far and messed up).

So! Dear brothers, be careful what you doing. You can’t get intimate with every female friend in your life. That kind of intimacy must be exclusive to the one you have in mind for building a home with. People’s heart and sanity are on the line! Blessed are you if you pay heed to wisdom.

Side note: the female version of the WOMAN COLLECTOR does exist of course. She is THE MAN COLLECTOR

and she is just as dangerous and deadly as her namesake. Brothers, may God spare you from her venom.

*EYO: Excellent Youth Outreach, a non-denominational youth ministry I’m a part of. 

Ps: Thanks for reading part 2. I hope the wait  wasn’t too long. Please share this, leave a comment and then sign up here or on Facebook for more πŸ™‚ . I’ll be glad to have you around always!