Dear God, yesterday like many of the days before it, was one of those days…awful.
I didn’t feel like having my quiet time, didn’t feel like reading my bible, didn’t feel like going to church. The devil kept saying a lot of things to me. Memories triggered by some occurences in my life lately allowed him to repeatedly spit into my mind the phrases : you are worthless, you have no value, nobody wants you, they’ll always leave you, you are all alone, unloved, unwanted, you don’t matter…and a whole lot of other mean things. I tried to talk back and let him know that he was a liar and that you loved me but to be honest, I was weak. Weak and unsure of my own confessions. I started to remember all the times…all those times he seemed to be right. I cried again ” FATHER, who makes sure I am okay ? Who encourages the encourager ? ”
You seemed to be silent but then the answers started coming in when I went out just for the sake of being outside. I decided to stop by that new KFC to eat something, take my drugs ~hmm, those drugs~ and fight the daily dizziness I’ve been experiencing. As I walked to sit down after making my order, I felt someone hold my hand in the alley. I looked down and there was this pretty little girl in a white dress looking at me and smiling as if I was the most wonderful person she’d ever seen and as if she knew me. I was surprised and smiled back and asked her how she was. She was with her dad who also smiled at the scene. And then it struck me, this was the second time in the week.
A similar thing had happened to me few days before in a banking hall after I had put on my okay face to get through the day. This little boy just walked up to me and wouldn’t stop smiling and waving at me. Before I knew it, I was smiling back. The innocence and kindness of a child. They see you and they just love you.
As I waited for my food, I logged on to social media and can’t remember how I stumbled on this video telling me the exact same words of mummy in a prayer she said for me years ago and which I had tried repeating to myself that morning : “Don’t carry your burdens. Jesus has carried them for you”. The video added “you are very precious to me and I love you”. You don’t need to be a genuis to guess that my face was wet by then.
I came home to see a message from an amazing someone I had so been waiting to hang out with, saying she was in town and I couldn’t help doing my little dance even though the chances of us meeting are slim at the moment. It gladdened my heart just to know that. Lord, you did not come down to wrap me in your arms…you did not stand before me with a loving smile on your face like you did sometime ago in one of my many dreams but throughout the week and yesterday, your love resonated everywhere I went . You actually heard me calling on you.
This morning as I woke up, I remembered a word Samuel Afrifa shared with me years ago as we walked on legon campus for an outreach. He said somebody said that we all used to be thoughts in God’s mind. If you were a thought in God’s mind, imagine how long He had to hold on to that thought to bring you to materialise. Scientists agree to say that the earth was formed billions of eons of years ago. Now, if you substract your age from those years, how many would be left ? Uncountable, right ? That’s how long God held on to the thought of you until he made you a reality into this world.
We’d all agree that for someone to hold on to an idea/a thought for that long without giving up on it and forgetting a single detail about it, that thought must be MEGA important. That’s how important, how valuable you are to God ; in fact, that’s just a fraction of it. Therefore, instead of using your time and energy focusing on someone who thinks/says you are unworthy of being a priotity in their lives, that you are no longer worth their attention, effort, care and time, why not look to the brighter future ? Why keep cutting yourself on the blade of their “I don’t care(s)” ?
For every one person who thinks that way of you, there is someone out there, a friend, a lover, who thinks you are invaluable and who (will) adore you so don’t block their way by missing the door that just opened or is about to. And then THERE IS GOD. Your father and Lord who calls you “my sister, my friend, my bride. You are all together perfect and there is no flaw in you” though He sees all of your shortcomings, yes, all of them without exception. I however have to remind you just as He reminded me, that as precious and priceless as you are to Him, the person who hurt you also is in His sight. You may not like the sound of this but it is true. God loves them just as much as He loves you. Remember the OUR FATHER prayer ? Forgive us our trespasses 👇
Am I saying you have to forgive that guy/girl who hurt you so bad ? Yes. What if they don’t ever try to make things right or apologise ?
Will the pain will go away immediately you decide to forgive them ? Eeerm…that is the not so fun part : no ! Forgiveness is a process. My daddy said to me : it’s like scooping sand out of a bowl full of it, one scoop at a time. So everyday, as you take out a spoonful of forgiveness, you’ll be taking in a spoonful of healing. Slowly, the wound will be closing back. Yes, you’ll be left with a scar but it would only be proof that you made it. 😊 Let me even give you a tip to speed up the process: PRAY FOR THEM. Yes, pray for them and remember that you are a
Here is a little something for you 😉 :
PS: Thanks for reading. I hope you were uplifted and I hope you find the strenght to move forward 😊. Why not SHARE this so someone is blessed and maybe healed too ? Subscribe for more and DON’T KEEP THIS TO YOURSELF.