I thank God for making me African. Why ? Because it seems that when you are from Africa, there is this inherent inner strenght you are automatically born with. You tend to just brush aside things that every normal human being might need to go to therapy for. I have never been to therapy and hopefully never will. Thank you Jesus ๐Ÿ˜„.

On to what I wanna tell you tonight.

This morning during my Bible reading time, as I read from 1 Samuel chapter 17 which relates the David and Goliath story, I learnt something new I did not know about David. He also was a stranger; a stranger to his own family.

What do I mean ? David was such a wonder and yet his family did not know him. They had no idea how much God had anointed him with power. They had no idea what exploits he had accomplished in his alone times in the wilderness. They had no idea who he truly was and how close he was to God so his brothers looked down on him when he offered to fight Goliath.

Many of us have been/are in David’s shoes. We are strangers to our own families and #DearStranger let me tell you something : you need not feel ashamed one bit that your own family barely knows you.
Sorry to disappoint those who thought I was going to argue in the opposit direction.

The other day, I read a meme on Facebook which went something like ” this is how suprised some people’s family members would look on their burial day as friends and church members sing their praises and say things about them their family had no idea of. Allow your own family to know you first ” .

Hmm…that word “family”. It can be deceptive. So deceptive.

I’ve also seen a few of the supposedly wise quotes flying around go like ” if you want to truly know who a person is, ask their family members ” .

I’d say : if you truly wanna find out who a person is and you think you must do it through their family, first take a walk in their shoes.

Let me tell you. I feel these statements are somehow meant to guilt trip people.
What are you talking about ? People have/are committing suicide or have attempted to, just at the thought of their families. There is no one size fits all. Such blanket statements are far from being true for everybody; I dare say even for the majority.

Unfortunately, questioning their immediate family isn’t always the best way of getting to know a person. It could actually even be the worse way of trying to know some people simply because not everyone has had the chance of having what you would call a normal family.

People are so bruised. Not by outsiders but by their own families, the very people supposed to nurse them. You’d be surprised how different reality can actually be from what is seems to be on the outside.

I for one cannot stop thanking God for where He has brought me from, what He has brought me through and the power of redemption, forgiveness, healing and restoration. I’ll tell my story one day and at the right time. Not to point fingers but so someone can be free and healed too.

There are so many Davids walking around and their families have no idea who they truly are.

When the very people who are supposed to be your support system have no clue who you truly are, question everything you stand for, tremple on your self estime and self worth so much so that God is the only support system you’ve got left, I don’t think they are the first people you want to open up to when you get home after a long day.

I just want to tell anyone reading this and who might have ever come across any of these memes that you don’t have to feel bad. You didn’t fail at opening up to your folks and building a bond witht them. They just weren’t ready for the amazing person you are.

We need to understand that just because someone is laying there in their coffin and their biological family doesn’t have a thing to say about them doesn’t mean they were a horrible person.

There is so much more below the surface that the world doesn’t get to see.

There are so many of your shoes they didn’t get to put on and of your thorns they did not get to walk on so while you are still breathing, walk on #DearStranger.

#DearStranger #StrangerToTheirFamilies #NotSynonymousOfHorrible

PS: If you read all the way to the end, thank you so much. I appreciate you sharing your time with me. SHALL WE KEEP THIS TO OURSELVES ? LET’S GO AHEAD AND SHARE ๐Ÿ˜‰ and then SUBSCRIBE for more ๐Ÿ˜Š. I would also love to hear from you every now and then.



Dear readers I know I owe you all a big time apology and they will come later but right now I AM HERE FOR SOME RANTING so let’s get to it ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„. ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿ™‹


You see ? It is true the Bible says that two are better than one but there is always a good thing in every season; even in singleness.

Living alone in a foreign land and being single has thought me a number of things and among them is : never expecting anything from anyone. Wait. I don’t mean I’d say no to some good pampering and that I never need anyone’s help. What I mean is, being single has thought me how to develop what I call “survival mechanisms or skills” ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜†. Lemme explain.

Being single has thought me to roll up my sleeves and do on my own the sort of tasks or chores that one would consider “manly” or masculin.

Did you say spraying herbicide ? I will do it. Why ? Because I can.

Did you say weeding ? I will do as much as I can until I have to maybe call for help. Why ? Because I can.

Did you say carrying heavy gallons of water; 5 to 6 to be precise and twice or thrice a week, I have done it and would still do it.

Did you say moving which implies lifting heavy boxes and furniture ? Eerm… I have done it 3 times over.

Did you say killing roaches or wall geckos ? I will. Why ?? Just because I can.

Once any of these tasks/chores comes up as part of my day to day needs I will just get to doing them.

What does a man use in performing all these tasks ? Two arms…two hands…two legs and two feet ? Do I have those things as well ? Yes ?
So why must I wait on a man to come do them for me when there is no immediate “manly” help around ? And if I never got the manly help, will I forever wait for a man to appear and do these for me ?

The same goes for you young man. When you’re done eating in those plates, will you forever leave them dirty until a “womanly help” shows up to do the dirty dishes for you just because that’s a task that’s been said to be feminin ?

Will you never sweep your room until you get married or until that female friend of yours or your sister or mother comes around to do it ? What if you had none of these female figures in your life ??

If you went hungry, will you go on a hunger strike until a woman shows up to fix you a plate or until you find a food joint managed by a woman ? And if it was a man serving at the joint, you wouldn’t buy and eat the food ??

What will the women use to perform these supposedly “feminin” tasks ? Their two hands ? Do you have two hands ? Why must you wait on a woman forever then ?

Men and women alike, fathers and mother to be, it is high time we change the norms and challenge the clichรฉs.

Mothers especially. Teach your sons right. Don’t raise spoilt brats who won’t lift a finger to help their wives tomorrow or will become totally helpless once their wives are absent while you pray and expect great husbands for your daughters. Where will those good husbands come from ? Will they fall from heaven ?

Oh no ma’am ! You think you can raise your boys to forever remain boys while expecting another mother to teach her sons how to become grown gentlemen and good husbands for your daughters ? ๐Ÿ˜‚ Oh okay.

You think it’s not your duty to raise your boy with someone’s daughter and society at large in mind ? No problem. It’s a free world. Let’s all raise spoilt lazy bone brats then. Shall we ? ๐Ÿ˜†

If you think raising your sons never to do house chores is fine, well remember other mothers out there also think they are entitled to doing the same. The same way you are raising your sons to be entitled brats, someone is also raising theirs to be the same and they’ll grow up to become husbands to your daughters. It’s a beautiful exchange ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†. Isn’t it ?

You are doing your own children good and you are doing mine good when you teach them that we are all humans and house chores have no gender.

Good night.

#RantOver #HumansBeforeAnythingElse #HungerHasNoGender #DirtHasNoGender #HouseChoresHaveNoGender

PS: Does this piece speak to you ? Go ahead and SHARE IT. GIVE US A LIKE AND FOLLOW FOR MORE. Thank you so much for reading ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜Š

My dear ladies…

I shared this on my personal facebook wall and everyone is loving it. I thought you guys shouldn’t be left out. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Do not marry a man who feels intimidated by you and thinks he is below you, he’ll make you lose your mind with his insecurities.
Neither marry a man who thinks he is too high for you, he will make your life hell by constantly bellitling you.
Both are control freaks.
The first one because he is continuously scared someone is going to snatch you from him, the second one because he thinks he did you a favour by marrying you and therefore, you are not to even breath unless he tells you so.

Marry the one who has found the right balance between valuing you and valuing himself. Your sanity and peace of mind in the home depend on it.

PS : The opposit holds for the men as well. Marry a woman who has found that right balance too.

PPS: That was just a very quick note to you. Remember to SHARE AND SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE IF YOU’RE YET TO. โ˜บ๐Ÿ˜‰


Mum and dad, what happens if your favourite child doesn’t make it in life ?

This write-up is to every father and mother out there. I am yet to be a mother but in my short life on this earth, I have already learnt quite a few things about parenthood and this is one of the things I learned : that having children and taking care of them is like sowing a field and then leaving it to the chance of times and seasons.

Sometimes you notice a child being so mean to their own father/mother and you wonder why ? You quickly attribute blame to the child because naturally the parents musn’t be to blame, right ?

Well…hear this : in this life, there is a time for everything; a time to sow and a time to reap and you would always reap what you sow. Parents are not exempted from this law of nature. If you take the freedom of treating your children anyhow, remember that they won’t be children forever.

I want to plead with you to treat all of your children right and equally. You are young, energetic and capable today but there will come a time when nature will take its course and you would need someone to hold you by the hand and nurse you.

Let me explain the statement in my opening paragraphe to you.

Just like a farmer who goes out with his sack of grains to sow a field, he knows not which of the grains will actually grow and bear fruits and which ones would die in the ground so he has to water them all equally…fertilize them all with the same quality of products…give them all equal chances and care etc. No farmer chooses which grains to take care of and which ones to neglect, otherwise he would never become a succesful farmer. He also doesn’t waste time watching the clouds for sun or rain forever. He just goes ahead to do what needs to be done at every point in time. Such is parenthood.

Treat all of your children right today so you don’t have to bow your head in shame tomorrow. You know not your child’s tomorrow ! Nobody does. Don’t cross them out just because they are having a hard time today. Should God show you that child you call useless’s future, you would cover your mouth and face in shame.

Water all of your grains equally because what if the grain you took a bet on ends up bearing no fruit at all ? What if the one you elected your favourite child ends up not doing so well in life ? Then you’d transfer your attention and love to the one you deemed useless ?!

What if the grain you had no regards for, ends up sprouting and bearing so much fruit instead ? What if the child you judged useless and unworthy of as much attention as your favourite one ends up being the one making it and making it big in life ? Have you heard of this saying before ? The stone that the builders rejected has become the corner stone ? It’s in the Bible. Luke 20:17 to be precise.

Yes, it does happen more than you think. It can happen that the one you mentally abused and placed no hope in would become the corner stone because God picked them and chose to honour them.

In Psalms 34:18, it is written : the LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. I want to believe due to that verse that God has a special spot He gives to those their families and the world rejects ; those who are crushed in spirit.

God uses the things which are vile in the sight of men, to shame the world.

Yes again, you may have a favourite among your children and to be honest, every parent does, wether secretly or openly. You may not relate to or love all of them the same way but what is wrong is to make it so obvious that one of some of your kids in particular feel like they are nothing. Some parents even go to the extent of telling their favourite that he/she is better than the rest of their siblings. *face palmed*

The one you call your treasure might disappoint you after all. Such is life. Nobody knows tomorrow. Man’s choice is not always God’s choice. The same passage which tells children to respect and honour their parents, tells parents not to exaspperate their children but someway somehow, that second part is often if not always ignored. (Ephesians 6: 1-4)

Treat ALL of yours kids right and equally so you don’t have to bite your fingers tomorrow. Start now. Build that relationship with them now. In your moments of anger, bite your tongue and whatch what you say to your kids. Don’t wait for when you see that they are starting to do well to transfer your attention and care from your favourite one to your less favourite one/ones. Children are not stupid. They notice everything. They may never say it but oh how they do notice everything !!!

PS : Did you learnt anything from this piece ? Thanks for reading. I am counting on you to SHARE THIS. Don’t keep it to yourself and then subscribe for more. ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜‰


One of the very dear desires to my heart is the training and development of the boy child. I see so many stories being shared on social media of how horribly some husbands/boyfriends are treating their wives/girlfriends. Where does it all start ?

Men are not born monsters. They are an empty canvas at birth just like the girl child. It is someone who molds them and most often than not, when that someone, wether a mother or father figure fails them, then they turn around to become a liability to society. How does it all happen ? I believe our society everywhere in the world is failing boys badly. We do not teach them what they need to know while they are still little and seeds can be implanted into their mind and character for tomorrow. Their task is huge but we do not invest into them and teach these boys what is expected of them as men, leaders, fathers etc when they grow up but then we are the same society that turns around to blame them and point accusatory fingers at them when they go wrong.

Somehow, we expect them to JUST KNOW what they are supposed to know. So much emphasis is placed on the girl child that everybody forgets about the boy child. We have ministers and ministries set up for them. NGOs, international fundings for project aimed at the girl child’s development etc. When a workshop on sucess, relationships is organised, when there is a retreat about discovering your purpose, marriage, how to be a good mother…you see the women there in their numbers. But where are the men who are supposed to marry them later ?

In the end, we’ve raised super women who are empowered and independent, sophisticated, educated, morally upright, have a relationship with God, are cultured, brainy, aware of their identity and value and ready to take the world on.

On the other side, what do we have ? Boys who never got to grow up thought they live in adult bodies and who do not match up. 25, 28, 32 and above years old “boys” who are of age to get married but know nothing of what it means to be a husband and father. Then they meet miss sapioxesual and Independent, they decide to date and get married and BOOM ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ. The disaster happens.

The marriage is a chaos because mister doesn’t know what is actually expected of him as a man and how to perform his duties to a woman who has been raised to be a queen. Everyone is hurt in the home…abuse happens…divorce happens…families end up broken and the cycle continues.

As for me, I have made up my mind not to let my male children grow up to be a thorn in anyone’s daughter’s flesh. Their childhood is when it all happens. Don’t wait until it’s too late. FOCUS ON THE BOYS TOO NOW ! A lot depends on them in the near future.

Raise them in the love and fear of God. Neglect them not or society will teach them wrong and then point fingers at them for you. Let us understand that YOU ARE RAISING YOUR BOY FOR MY GIRL as I ALSO RAISE MY GIRL FOR YOUR BOY and vice versa. The good I’m doing to you by raising my child right, I am actually doing for myself. With that in mind, we’d all feel more concerned.

Let’s be intentional about they boy child’s development. That is one of the only ways to better homes and a better society.

Good husbands and fathers don’t fall from heaven. It all starts NOW. The power to make a change is in our hands.

#WhoIsTeachingTheBoyChild ? #TheBoyChildMatters #UpcomingMaleChildDevelopmentActivist. PS: Heya ! It’s so great to have you here ! ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿ˜ƒ. Did you enjoy reading this ? Please go ahead and SHARE with everyone you know and then SUSBSCRIBE for more if you are yet to ๐Ÿ˜‰. Thanks for reading


Some things I hear just repulse me.
Clearly, the problem can only be from upbringing. So, some parents are out there actually teaching their male children that they are superior to every woman they meet and have the right to try enforcing that superiority wherever they go and meet a woman ? Why am I even asking this question ? I know for a fact that this is real ‘cos I’ve seen it with my own eyes before. A guy wants to help his heavily pregnant (even pregnant oh) woman with house chores, parents roar : sit down ; a man must not lift a finger when there’s a woman around ! Really ?? Is that what defines a man ?

Do you know what FEMICIDE (female homicide) is ? It is the act of killing a woman just because she is a woman. Yes, in some latin american countries it is that bad because the men are thaught to view women as valueless objects. El Salvador heads the list followed by Colombia. I think there should be a word such as FEMIBUSE which would be defined as the act of abusing a woman just because she is a woman. Heehee…

Anyway, on to my rant.

What’s this thing about “you don’t talk to a man this way” or again “learn how to talk to a man” ??๐Ÿ˜• I could understand if what is being said to me is ” you don’t talk to people like that” or “learn how to talk to people” ‘cos verbal abuse is wrong no matter the gender of the one being abused and the one doing the abuse . Right ? Or does it only become wrong when it’s a man being verbally abused and the abuser is a female ??
Maybe there’s something I’m missing here.

Yes I kow, men have an ego and you many times have to massage that ego to get even things you rightfully deserve. Forcefully stating your rights to them doesn’t work sometimes but that’s not what this is about. This isn’t a piece about knowing your way around a man’s ago. I ask, Is it my duty to massage the ego of every man I come across just because they are men and I am a woman ? I don’t think that’s something I should be concerned with if they’re not my head in any way.

If you are a man and you’ve been thaught that your identity as a man is found in you lording yourself over every woman you come across, you’re only setting yourself up for a lifetime of fustration.

The men who like quoting the Bible as a support material to their thesis of why a man is SUPERIOR TO/ THE HEAD OF EVERY WOMAN, please take another try at reading your Bible and understand very well that the only woman the Bible gives a man authority over (as a head not as a slave master or as an employer over his employee ; meaning he is responsible for her, leads her and takes care of her physically, emotionally, financially ) is the one he marries.

Being a man doesn’t make you “SUPERIOR” to or give you authority over every female you come across. If the younger females in your family decide to treat you with deference because you are older than them, that is another matter all together. I hope you don’t go about trying to lord yourself over every woman you meet. You will only fustrate yourself. As long as she is not your wife and you don’t clothe her, feed her, lead her, care for her and possess a legal document saying she is to defer to you (marriage certificate) , you have no such right over her. Are we together ? ๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜Œ

If you remember nothing at all from all I just said, please remember this : A MAN IS NOT THE HEAD OF EVERY WOMAN HE COMES ACROSS. Your headship ends at the gate of your home and maybe office. Make life easy for yourself.

Good evening.

#DiaryOfAnAngryYoungerSister #DiaryOfAnAngryWoman #TeachYourBoysRight #ThisIsntAboutFeminism #ThisIsAboutBeingAHumanWithAHeartAndBrain

PS: This was one of my unplanned piece. Share it if it speaks to you and then PLEASE SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE ๐Ÿ˜‰. Thanks for reading


Dear God, yesterday like many of the days before it, was one of those days…awful.

I didn’t feel like having my quiet time, didn’t feel like reading my bible, didn’t feel like going to church. The devil kept saying a lot of things to me. Memories triggered by some occurences in my life lately allowed him to repeatedly spit into my mind the phrases : you are worthless, you have no value, nobody wants you, they’ll always leave you, you are all alone, unloved, unwanted, you don’t matter…and a whole lot of other mean things. I tried to talk back and let him know that he was a liar and that you loved me but to be honest, I was weak. Weak and unsure of my own confessions. I started to remember all the times…all those times he seemed to be right. I cried again ” FATHER, who makes sure I am okay ? Who encourages the encourager ? ”

You seemed to be silent but then the answers started coming in when I went out just for the sake of being outside. I decided to stop by that new KFC to eat something, take my drugs ~hmm, those drugs~ and fight the daily dizziness I’ve been experiencing. As I walked to sit down after making my order, I felt someone hold my hand in the alley. I looked down and there was this pretty little girl in a white dress looking at me and smiling as if I was the most wonderful person she’d ever seen and as if she knew me. I was surprised and smiled back and asked her how she was. She was with her dad who also smiled at the scene. And then it struck me, this was the second time in the week.

A similar thing had happened to me few days before in a banking hall after I had put on my okay face to get through the day. This little boy just walked up to me and wouldn’t stop smiling and waving at me. Before I knew it, I was smiling back. The innocence and kindness of a child. They see you and they just love you.

As I waited for my food, I logged on to social media and can’t remember how I stumbled on this video telling me the exact same words of mummy in a prayer she said for me years ago and which I had tried repeating to myself that morning : “Don’t carry your burdens. Jesus has carried them for you”. The video added “you are very precious to me and I love you”. You don’t need to be a genuis to guess that my face was wet by then.

I came home to see a message from an amazing someone I had so been waiting to hang out with, saying she was in town and I couldn’t help doing my little dance even though the chances of us meeting are slim at the moment. It gladdened my heart just to know that. Lord, you did not come down to wrap me in your arms…you did not stand before me with a loving smile on your face like you did sometime ago in one of my many dreams but throughout the week and yesterday, your love resonated everywhere I went . You actually heard me calling on you.

This morning as I woke up, I remembered a word Samuel Afrifa shared with me years ago as we walked on legon campus for an outreach. He said somebody said that we all used to be thoughts in God’s mind. If you were a thought in God’s mind, imagine how long He had to hold on to that thought to bring you to materialise. Scientists agree to say that the earth was formed billions of eons of years ago. Now, if you substract your age from those years, how many would be left ? Uncountable, right ? That’s how long God held on to the thought of you until he made you a reality into this world.

We’d all agree that for someone to hold on to an idea/a thought for that long without giving up on it and forgetting a single detail about it, that thought must be MEGA important. That’s how important, how valuable you are to God ; in fact, that’s just a fraction of it. Therefore, instead of using your time and energy focusing on someone who thinks/says you are unworthy of being a priotity in their lives, that you are no longer worth their attention, effort, care and time, why not look to the brighter future ? Why keep cutting yourself on the blade of their “I don’t care(s)” ?

For every one person who thinks that way of you, there is someone out there, a friend, a lover, who thinks you are invaluable and who (will) adore you so don’t block their way by missing the door that just opened or is about to. And then THERE IS GOD. Your father and Lord who calls you “my sister, my friend, my bride. You are all together perfect and there is no flaw in you” though He sees all of your shortcomings, yes, all of them without exception. I however have to remind you just as He reminded me, that as precious and priceless as you are to Him, the person who hurt you also is in His sight. You may not like the sound of this but it is true. God loves them just as much as He loves you. Remember the OUR FATHER prayer ? Forgive us our trespasses ๐Ÿ‘‡

Am I saying you have to forgive that guy/girl who hurt you so bad ? Yes. What if they don’t ever try to make things right or apologise ?

Will the pain will go away immediately you decide to forgive them ? Eeerm…that is the not so fun part : no ! Forgiveness is a process. My daddy said to me : it’s like scooping sand out of a bowl full of it, one scoop at a time. So everyday, as you take out a spoonful of forgiveness, you’ll be taking in a spoonful of healing. Slowly, the wound will be closing back. Yes, you’ll be left with a scar but it would only be proof that you made it. ๐Ÿ˜Š Let me even give you a tip to speed up the process: PRAY FOR THEM. Yes, pray for them and remember that you are a

Here is a little something for you ๐Ÿ˜‰ :

PS: Thanks for reading. I hope you were uplifted and I hope you find the strenght to move forward ๐Ÿ˜Š. Why not SHARE this so someone is blessed and maybe healed too ? Subscribe for more and DON’T KEEP THIS TO YOURSELF.


Two tears drops were floating down the river of life. One asked the other, “who are you ? The second replied, “I’m the teardrop from the girl who loved a man and lost him. Who are you ? ” The first teardrop replied, “I am the teardrop of the girl who got him”.

That’s the way life goes, isn’t it ? We cry over what we don’t have, not realising we might have cried twice as hard if God had given it to us.

~ Excerpt from THE WORD FOR TODAY DEVOTIONAL by Pastors Bob and Debbie Gas. Message of the 8 September 2017.

This excerpt right here might be of 2017 but to me, it is timeless. It says so much about life and how we ought to trust God.

What is it that you are crying about because yoy couldn’t achieve it and another year has ended ? Who set those deadlines for you ?

Relax dear, God isn’t now about to start putting the plan for your life together. He isn’t a child trying to fix a messy drawing and who would have to use an eraser over and over again. He is the Master painter and his hands never tremble.

The canvas of your life ? He’s already painted. Painted in indelible ink because that’s how sure the painter was/is of himself and of his masterpiece. God didn’t have to second guess himself…pause and contemplate…try out different colours when he made this painting before the ages began. If God had to erase a single line off the canvas of your life, He wouldn’t be God. He wasn’t just “trying something out” to see what would come out of it when He made you. He knew what He was doing.

As you enter this new year, I want you to keep this in mind : You are a gift God delights in. He has a plan He made for you even before the foundation of the world. This life you are living right now ? It’s all just a reenactment. The premiering was done long ago and it was perfect. You don’t believe me ? Read this ๐Ÿ‘‡

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

Ephesians 2:10, NLT

Happy new year to you and yours !!! ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽŠ๐ŸŽŠ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽŠ๐ŸŽŠ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ†๐ŸŽ‡๐ŸŽ†๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ†๐ŸŽŠ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‡๐ŸŽ„

CeeJ ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜™๐Ÿ˜™

PS: Heya ๐Ÿ™‹ ! Thanks for reading. I’m so glad to have you here and to start this awesome new year with you ๐Ÿ˜ƒ. Why don’t you join us and stick around for more ? SUBSCRIBE AND FOLLOW ON FACEBOOK !


I look at the woman in these pictures and I love her. I see her smile and I’m in luuuu ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜„.
Let me read you another chapter of her story today.

Hi. Maybe you saw one or more of these pictures on any of my social media accounts yesterday. Can I share something with you ? Something I have sttrugled with sharing for a long time. I’d like to tell you what you don’t see behind these pictures.

One of the secret fears I sttrugle with and still sttrugle with is wearing sleeveless clothes to go out . Actually, wearing anything that shows off certain parts of my body is a problem to me but when it comes to sleeveless clothes, it’s like a nightmare. Only my family and some close friends know about this.
It so happens that God has given me these beautiful arms that everybody else seems to enjoy touching but me ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜„. They say it gives a sensation they can’t describe. My brothers enjoy doing that to me the most. Oh how I hate them during such moments ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜’. They become like sttuborn flies that won’t go away no matter what .

You know what ? The Lord has been teaching me to be bolder these days and if anybody has a problem with that, well that problem is just theirs, not mine.
I have spent the greatest part of my life so far, obliged to listen to a very important someone I won’t name, tell me how awful this body of mine looked even when it was nothing close to what it is now until I one day choose to bang my fist on the table and say ” ENOUGH”. I still didn’t rise from the chains of a lifetime of verbal abuse immediately but I have come a long way.

Before you say anything. Listen.
I have tried hatred for this body. It didn’t work. I tried anxiety. It didn’t work. I tried depression. It still didn’t work. I tried starvation. It did work but not for long. These are but a few. I even tried anger against God. I wake up wondering why I get to go through all this and some people just get to “sit slim” . I wondered why they don’t have to lift a finger to look the way they do while I almost always have to keep an eye on myself. I felt it is so unfair but that still didn’t change a thing and it won’t . As my friend Peace would say : one day, everything will make sense. Right ?

God knows the number of things I have tried out. I’d rather not describe some of them. When I was a teenager, mama would go something like : look what you’re doing to yourself ! You’re begining to look like jelly. In my head I’d think : I don’t care. As long as this stuff works, I really don’t care. Yeah, it was that bad and still is sometimes.

What’s happening now ?
I can confidently say that I am gradually becoming another me. The me that won’t put being happy on hold till I am 10 or 20 or 25 kg lighter. The me that will be happy even now. The me that won’t allow others to tell me how they think I should look. In the past, I would have joined them in putting this body down but not anymore.

Have I become that me yet ? Not totally…still on the way.
Do I still have breakdowns about how hard it is to look in the mirror and not see the body I used to have and want to have ? Yes ! Quite often. It is scary and lonely sometimes. The temptation of going back to the old negative me is present everyday.
But to be honest, being miserable and inflicting depression and anxiety on myself won’t make the extra kilos go away any faster. So I choose to be joyful for as long as I’m stuck with them.
ร‡a prendra le temps que รงa prendra*.

Having the body I have has thaught me how easy it is for people who don’t even know you to judge you. One time too many, I’ve had to listen to people call me names and make fun of my skin colour and figure. I’ve had to listen to them tell me or others how my looks are probably the results of me being a sluggish and lazy person.
However, the funny truth that is hard to believe is this: to be honest and without wanting to brag, many of the slim or “normal” people I know would give up if we went on a jog/walk together or if we just started one of the many crazy diets I’ve tried together. Lol

There are certain things people just can’t understand unless they’ve been in your shoes and having an endomorph body is one of them. How do you let someone who has eaten all they wanted their whole life without putting on a single extra kilo, understand how come your body gets bigger by just perceiving the aroma from your neighbour’s kitchen. How do you make them empatise with the fact that you gain extra pounds that will take forever to come off just because you looked into your fridge ?

Some of you reading this will be touched and start to view people with love handles differently. Others will make fun of this and go on being rude and hurtful.

Ainsi va la vie*. My last words ? Next time you notice a girl or boy who always dresses a certain “weird” way, try not to make fun of them. Tell yourself that maybe they are fighting battles you have no idea of ; battling with complexities you may never have to deal with in your life.

Before you call them names across the classroom or street, walk a mile in their shoes. A mile during which you are trapped inside a body that won’t cooperate and let you show an “acceptably beautiful” enveloppe according to this world.

Maybe you are on the other side of the spectrum, trying to add on some curves. It is okay to do that. I won’t say give up your fight just like I won’t give up mine because it’s not just about physical appearance but about health as well but while you’re at it, still love yourself. I am talking about present tense love. ๐Ÿ˜‰โ˜บ

#LovingAllOfMoi ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜. #LovingMyselfBboldly. #LovingThemeThatIamNow. #PresentTenseLove #Shamelessly #Sleevelesly #AgreeOrNot #StareOrNot๐Ÿ˜Šโ˜บ

*ร‡a prendra le temps que รงa prendra : it will take the time it must take

*Ainsi va la vie : such is life

PS: Thanks for reading this. I hope you’ve been inspired to love yourself and others better. How about sharing it with others ? ๐Ÿ˜Š Subscribe and come around again ! ๐Ÿ˜‰


Yesterday on my Facebook wall ~Constante Gakpo~ I was telling you how you should appreciate what you’ve got and be grateful for it ‘cos you have no idea how somebody somewhere is dying to have that same thing you look down on/don’t like about yourself .

I remember during my first year in Ghana when I was staying in a hostel, I used to admire this roommate of mine for her figure so much ; she has this guitar shape figure ๐Ÿ˜„. I didn’t wish I was exactly like her but to some extent, yeah. Until one day she told me something that stunned me. She said : you have no idea how I wish I had your legs. You don’t know how much I love smooth legs.

I went ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ฒ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฐ. Logically, you can guess that she’s a lady with legs lovingly adorned with some curly hair ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜„. This I heard some people would kill for as well but here she was, wanting my hairless ones instead.

I never thought my legs were anything to be desired and envious of.
You see ? This is all I meant. Daddy is always telling me how it is not even right for someone to wish they were not as they are but like someone else instead. He really has a point here. You don’t like your arms ? Someone simply wishes they had arms. You don’t like your hair ? There’s a cancer patient who would gladly have them for a transplant. You get my drift ? Remember also that gratitude opens the door for us to have more while ingratitude does just the opposite.

Someone made a joke saying: women with straight hair want curly hair. Those with curly hair want straight hair but men are very simple : They just want the hair on their head to stay ๐Ÿ˜‚.

I think all of us would gain so much by trying to be a lilttle more like men in this regard. Just be content and grateful for what you have. Some of these things, we can’t even change about ourselves (our bodies).
Easier said than done. I know ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜Š.

The note for today is : Love on yourself and whiles you are at it, do it unapologetically !!! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜˜

Good morning !

CeeJ from CeeJ’s Blog here.

PS: Why keep this to yourself ? Go ahead and share it. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Thanks for reading. Don’t forget to subscribe for more.