In the Ga culture, The marin deity is a male


Hello people. So yesterday, I put up a post on my facebook wall about this year’s Chale Wote festival and of course I am not surprised it didn’t get many supporters because spiritual things are spiritually discerned and so I also know that even after putting up this second long post, some people will still disagree and that’s fine.

I however, feel the need to talk about this whole thing more extensively so that people see why I said what I said and understand it wasn’t just some arbitrary opinions. And of course, I’ll speak from the Bible’s point of view since I am a christian and what I seek to do is promote the cause of Christ.

Let me first of all say that (an) this art festival in itself might not be a bad thing if we consider the fact that it could also be used to promote Christ and the right thing. The issue comes from what it is being used to promote ; namely spiritism this year.

Media and arts are pillars of society and they have a hugue influence on the youth so great care must be taken about what is being projected to them.

I will start with the a lilttle biographie about the art festival.

Located directly east of the Korle Lagoon, Jamestown is where it all happens. Jamestown is one of the oldest districts in the city of Accra, Ghana and is primarily inhabited by the Ga communities.

Chale Wote is a Ga expression meaning β€œBuddy let’s go.” For the past 7 years, Art of different forms have been parraded at Chale Wote around this time every year.

Let’s see what the Bible has to say about spiritism which is clearly the topic of celebration of this year’s festival (well, this year’s own is the obvious one ).πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡

Galatians 5:19-20 (TLB) But when you follow your own wrong inclinations, your lives will produce these evil results: impure thoughts, eagerness for lustful pleasure, idolatry, *SPIRITISM (that is, encouraging the activity of demons)*, hatred and fighting, jealousy and anger…

Let’s read another version

Galatians 5: 19-21 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, *SORCERY, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God ( NKJV )

Did anyone read the word SPIRITSM in the first version I shared from ? Spiritism is listed as part of the works of the flesh.

The New King James uses the term : sorcery while others use the word “witchcraft”. Yes, you read right ? So the Bible’s stance (which I believe is also yours if you claim to be of the christian faith) on this matter is very clear. Verse 21 further says what the consequence of taking part in such things are. Now, it wouldn’t bother me much if people of the world (every other faith) defended this event.

What bothers me is that christians who are supposed to know better are promoting this. It is sad to see how ready we are to jump up and defend anything evil as long as it has a cute, fancy, fun or intellectual name attached to it and once it is presented to us under the guise of culture, science or arts.

Evil is evil. Call it so. There’s no point trying to find the good in it ‘cos there is none. Forcing yourself and others to do so is what is called “compromising” (blindly).

If you as a christian, are ready to place your culture and traditions above the word of God just because it’s where you come from or you have a family member, a friend or yourself actively or passively taking part in this, then what does that say about your faithfulness and where your allegiance truly belongs ? If you keep chanting “Christianity is the white man’s religion, let’s preserve our culture, our african heritage lest we loose it” , will your culture take you to heaven ?

Is it Christ you will owe an account to or the stake holders of this culture/tradition you are fighting for ? And who said Christianity is the white man’s religion ? In case you are yet to find out this is a lie, please read your Bible and do some research. Christianity was present in Africa long before the white man came. Read about the Euthiopian eunoch and many others (Acts 8: 27-39).

The fact that something is part of your culture/traditions doesn’t make it legit and right. You need to use discernment .

The Bible even says something about that as well in Matthew 15: 3 “…Jesus answered and said to them, β€œWhy do you also transgress the commandment of God because of your tradition? ” This was the Lord’s answer when the Pharasees accused his disciples of not respecting their fahters’ traditions.

If after you have given your life to Christ, you still hold on to and promote things that are against His word just for culture or tradition sake, then you are yet to let His word renew your mind and truly get rid of your old self. Let me also make you notice that this year’s festival is the 7th one and 7 in the spirit realm signifies completion.

Believe it or not, to me it looks like this was the agenda all along and has been gently pushed to the people under the guise of art so it would be accepted. And this number signifies that this year’s festival is a major one and spiritually, the ennemy is up to something.

Christians! No wonder Jesus said that we are so gullible and naive and the sons of this world are more crafty and cunning than us. Let’s wake up ! It’s high time we say no to people forcing things down our throats in every other sphere of life as well because we are supposed to be the loving ones who accept everybody and just anything.

Yes we are to love but we are not to compromise ! How can we change the world by being just like it ?!

Now, if you tell me: how about Christians celebrating feasts like Christmas which is originally said to be pagan ?

I’d tell you that Christmas is what you make it about and it is supposed to be about Christ. It is sad that nowadays people have made it about anything but celebrating Jesus Christ but you can and actually have to chose to make it all about Him if you truly know better .

Now, can you make a mami wata celebration about Christ in any way ? I don’t think so but I’d be glad someone shows me how if they find a way.

On a platform I belong to, someone raised the concern that young people, especially those in the arts and entertainment industry are attracted to and are caught up into such stuffs because the church doesn’t offer them enough “cleaner” avenues to express their talents. I think this is true to some extent and the reason why we need to do more in such regards.

I personally have the dream of organising more talent discovery or gospel music shows for young christians because I have many times desired to take part in a singing competition but had to restrict myself because I didn’t wanna compromise some of the things I stand for. I didn’t wanna end up looking like I was promoting secular or wordly music.

However the truth remains this: you cannot run off to the world when you don’t get a “suitable enough” canal for your talent. That is why it is called CARRYING YOUR CROSS.

What you can do is to avail yourself to the Lord for the Holy Spirit to fill you up with creative ideas in order to be a solution to such issues instead of running off to the world and ending up losing your identity in Christ because they seem to offer an immediate and juicier relief.

This is my stance on this matter and it will remain the same no matter the event, culture or country in question. 😊

PS: Thanks for reading.

I hope I was able to share something with you. Go ahead and share this and then subcribe for more. I’d also love to hear your thoughts on the topic so do not hesitate to leave me a comment πŸ™‹.



Loud wailings and bitter crying was heard rising from Amamrase every night.


” How on earth did we get here ?! ” Kwame wondered as he sniffed at the aweful scent that one would think should have become familiar to him by now. He proceeded to cover his nose with one of those white nose masks as was the new custom in Amamrase.

The whole town was in great distress and commotion. This strike was unlike any other ; it was one of a kind. Unheard of ; had never happened before. Every waste management company, the big Zoom Lion and the smaller ones alike was on strike.
It so happened that these people had gotten tired of the disrespect and disdain they were welcomed with anytime they went round doing their job. They had decided to teach the town and its people a lesson and things had pretty much blown out of proportion. Who would have thought that borla men could wield so much power ?
This strike had gone on for over three months. You could feel the putrid stench of decomposed waste producing flies, worms and other things, that rose from every house and filled the air of each street as one drove through the areas. It was a beautiful place but gradually, it was becoming a drepressing ghost town.

Those who could no longer take it, and who had the means, decided to relocate elsewhere until the issue was maybe settled.
You would see giant house flies, the greenish ones,

arrogantly flying unbothered everywhere around human beings ; they freely came in and out of their homes as if to taunt them, as though to execute some kind of vengeance on the people who previously had the power to keep them so far off. They were often seen rubbing their front legs together as though in anticipation of the mega feast awaiting them daily They entered your most intimate places. They came in through every opening wether you liked it or not and insecticides did little to stop them.

They entered your bathroom, you car, your bedroom… . You name it.
If flies could smile, these particular ones would have had the most annoying smiles on. As you can imagine, their cousins, the roaches

and all the other sorts of flies soon joined the feast. It was unbereable and beyond imagination.
Some people tried playing it smart by burrying or burning their own refuse but the guarguantuan quantities were too much to handle with such first hand methods and the intoxicating black smoke

it produced, only made matters worse. That was, if and when the sun even shone enough for a fire to be ignited outside since it rained all the time and the cloudy cold weather didn’t make things any easier. The floor was almost always wet and the weather humid.

Soon, all of Amamrase was subjected to a viral cholera outbreak.
Children were the most vulnerable and the first to lose their breath to the journey of the afterlife. It was heart-wrenching.

Hospitals weren’t any cleaner since they all suffered the same fate. Doctors and nurses tried their best to help control the outbreak and its effects but every ward of every health facility was soon overcrowded and that made things more complicated .

The people were helpless and though they were dying slowly, they just couldn’t give in to the demands of the waste management workers syndicate which demanded before anything else that all the people meet at the Freedom square and knelt down to present them a public and official apology which will be broadcasted on TV both locally and internationally.
The town officials were the most sttuborn. They seemed plagued by something other than just cholera; an acute kind of ego and pride.
“Whaaat??! Kneel before these excretas of men who are always stinking and looking terrible and have a salary as insignificant as my toddler’s weekly pocket money?

We are a town of dignitaries, highly respected families of the highest social class. We shall do no such thing !

Are they not being paid for their filthy job ? We didn’t make them work for free neither did we force them. They chose this job. Why can’t they just do it and let us have peace ? Why are they being so difficult, the Minister of health exclaimed out of exasperation and almost at the brink of tears. But a man must not cry, right ? Certainly not a minister and especially not at a live TV conference. Francis, one of the borla men who worked for ZOOM LION, recalled with tears during one of their syndicate meetings, how the market women and passersby would shout and hurl insults at him, asking him to hurry up and move his metallic waste cart whenever he stopped to pick their refuse kept by the road side and would be a little slow because of tiredness.

The syndicate had given the town and its officials a deadline to give in to their demands or else they shan’t resume work. On the D day, everyone gathered at the Freedom square with sick and angry faces but what was most noticeable was the swarm of flies around. The apocalyptic noise their wings made as they flew static above the crowd was terryfing. It felt like Old Testament days in Egypt when Egyptians went through one of the 10 plagues God had sent to afflict and subdue Pharaoh and his people because they wouldn’t let God’s people go. The cloud of giant flies was now getting darker and darker as the people also gathered.

It seemed everyone came with their own flies. It was unbearable! Kwame felt like fainting. He started trying to make his way out through the throng of people by pushing around with his elbows. But he felt trapped. It was like experiencing both clostrophobia and agoraphobia at the same time.

It was one of the worst feelings ever.

He held his head up with both hands and was about to scream when he woke up panting and suerting.
His mum was sitting at his bedside trying to calm him down. Appareantly he had been shaking, shouting and gesturing a lot in his sleep. Ow ! It was a dream! It was all a dream. He sighed heavily. He said to his mother : I just had the most terrifying nightmare anyone could imagine and it was all because waste management companies were on strike for three months ! She smile with an inquisitive and perplexed look on her face.

The next day at school and everyday afterwards, Kwame showed overwhelming respect to any borla man he meet. He thanked God it was only a nightmare and whenever he saw a waste truck passing by, he would get excited, shout out : ZOOM LIOOOOON and salute no matter how far away he was. His friends whom he walked with after class made fun of his new found hobby and asked why. He simply told them: it’s when the waste truck doesn’t show up for 3 months and your entire house begins to fester that you will know the importance of a borla man.

Hey you ! Yes you the one reading this. Yeah, this is me talking to you now. The story is over. That was a scary one, right ?

You’d agree with me that Kwame is not the only culprit in this matter. Be honest. We all or someone we know might have disrespected any of those guys before in one way or the other.

We give them the side eye and hold our nose in their presence just to spite them sometimes. We show reluctance if they ever dare to ask us for a cup of water. God forbid that their filthy hands

should touch our precious aluminium cups *side eye* or that their unattractive lips should drink from it.

Some people even go to the extent of talking down to them or insulting them. And God forbid that they should try pursuing any of us ladies. The whole of hell would break loose.

It may not necessarily be the Borla guy but how do you treat your mechanic ? Your gardener, your cleaner, your shoe maker or that shoe mender who sits everyday at your junction trying to make something out of the day before the sun goes down ?

How do you treat those guys who come to empty your manhole so you can keep doing what we all know in peace and stay healthy ? Can you even entertain the idea of shaking their hands ? When was the last time you let that gardener, house help or cleaner know that they matter and you respect them because without them your life would be a lot more difficult and your house less pleasant to live in ?

I call them heroes because yes, that’s what they are. They are those heroes society looks down on. Those heroes who have accepted the “less honourable” jobs no one would want to do. If indeed there is anything less honourable about their job. Have you ever paused to think of what life would be like or what would happen if no one wanted to do their job ? I don’t know how you feel about such people but I feel like Kwame. I feel like giving them a shout out.

I feel like giving out a salute everytime I see a Zoom Lion truck. In fact I have done so before and the driver honked back in response. It was amusing and exciting. I hope I made that waste truck driver’s day better.

Everytime I see any of these heroes, I feel like pating their back and telling them : ” well done. You matter to us a lot.”

Let me end here and join Kwame to say:

It’s when your expensive footwear gets torn on your way to an important meeting you are already late to but you have no replacement in your bag and there are no shoe menders in view, that you’d get to know the importance of a shoe mender. Then maybe you’d also understand that the price of that footwear in no way places you above them. 😏 A word to the wise is enough. Let him who has an ear, hear what CeeJ and Kwame are saying πŸ˜„. Peace out. ✌

PS: Thanks for reading. Did you enjoy this piece ? Why not go ahead and SHARE IT AND THEN SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE ? Let’s challenge clichΓ©s and change mentalities together.πŸ˜‰ Leave me a comment and follow on Facebook as well. I’D BE MORE THAN DELIGHTED TO HEAR FROM YOU β˜ΊπŸ˜ŠπŸ™‹. CeeJ

ETERNITY MINDED~Seeing with the eyes of the eternal


About a little over a week ago, I was browsing vidoes on the internet when I came across one of Pastor Priscilla Shirer’s videos. ~ Pastor Priscilla is the one who plays the role of Elisabeth Jordan; Tony’s wife in the famous WAR ROOM movie.

Remember her ?

If you haven’t watched that movie yet, you definitely should ~ I don’t know what the title of her message was but I believe she must have been talking about purpose.

She was sharing a story about the woman who is her babysitter and church member as well.

God had called this woman out of the corporate world into ministry and since she left a well-paid job and a successful and promising career to obey the call, she was naturally waiting for the next big thing to happen. She was probably expecting God to give her a big opportunity or platform to usher her into ministry. So when it didn’t seem like anything that hugue was gonna happen for her after a while and she had to now take on this babysitting job just to get by, she said she felt cheated by God.
And as Pastor Shirer said, that’s how many of us feel in various areas of our lives.

Lord, I have obeyed you. What now ? Where is my blessing ?

God, I left this unholy relationship because you asked me to, where is my awesome future husband/wife whom I’m supposed to be having a fairy tail courtship with now ?
Right ?

God, I refused to spread my legs just to get a job, where is my breakthrough so I can give a testimony now ?

Lord, I said no to being a fraudster just so I can be a business man with integrity and be pleasing to you, where is my next big contract now ?

Sounds familiar ?

Lord, I forsook my own plans for your glory. When are You moving me to the next level ? When is it happening ?

God, I refused to pay a bribe to get my file to the top, where is my open door to getting that visa and traveling abroad now ?

You feel like you’ve put your trust in God, putting all your eggs in one basket and so something hugue and spectacular was supposed to immediately come out of it but it hasn’t and instead of that you were given a more humbling and less “attractive” task, job or opportunity, so you feel cheated by God.

In the end, out of fustration, you find people trying to threaten God like : “God, if I don’t get married next year by this time eeh… You and me: OVER ! ”

πŸ˜‚ Really ?

We need to grow past that baby christian who is still on milk mentality and understand that, Jesus is nobody’s errand boy. He chooses to do what He chooses to do when He chooses to do it, and nobody gives Him the calendar He must work with. You won’t always get what you want, how you want it and when you want it. Little children reason like that.

We need to get to the point of maturity where we have chewed the hard meat and bones of the Word and we can say: Lord, even if what I want delays and men make fun of me or even if I don’t get it at all, I will still serve you in the very season and place you have called me to.

Yes, it is not easy and you can only say this when you begin to look at things with the mind of heaven.

Let me give you a clear picture of what doing that would be like.

You remember the woman I talked about earlier who had to leave her job and became a babysitter ? She said she went to God in all honesty and lifted a prayer that went something like this

: ” Lord, is this what I left all the money, success, and honour for ? Is this what I left the bling bling for ? I mean, I love kids but… babysitting for the rest of my life ? I feel cheated by You and I need an answer”.

When she went to work in the evening of that day, she said everything that happened that night was an answer to her.

Upon pressing the bell of the house of the couple she was going to babysit for that evening, God began to open her mind and eyes to see things from heaven’s point of view.

The kids came to open the door and they were so excited to see her. They had all gathered to wait for her and were impatient to show her how they could now recite memory verses she had taught them from the last time she was around and had some kind of Bible study with them.

There she understood that this wasn’t about babysitting. It was so much bigger than that ! Just like a trainer, she was a destiny shaper helping to prepare God’s people, God’s army for the battle field tomorrow. She was helping shape destinies; helping to usher these kids into their purpose on earth by teaching them how to love the things of God and have an intimate relationship with Him.

Then, that couple was going on a date that evening. It was date night and they hadn’t had the chance to have one on one time for a long time. She (the babysitter) had even brought a plate of food she had cooked them from her house and when that mother saw the plate, the smile that illuminated her face and the grateful hug she gave this babysitter said it all. There God opened her eyes again! She could see herself in the scope of eternity:

Once more, she wasn’t just a babysitter! She was a marriage saver; God’s hand in helping to keep a couple’s bond and preserve a family from braking apart. She was contributing to their marriage being healthy. Not only had she put a smile of relief on that mother’s face by cooking something for her kids ~anyone with many little kids knows how relieving such a kind gesture can be ~, she was giving that couple an opportunity to work on their relationship and have a great marriage by spending one on one time going for date night !

Amazing. Right ?

There and then she realised that she was doing something so dear and important to God. She realised that when you looked at it from heaven’s perspective : SHE WAS EXACTLY WHERE SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE, doing the most important thing any human being could do : walking in purpose.

I’ve had someone like this babysitter in my life and she is one of the main reasons I am who I am today. The day she left our house, I cried profusely. I remember battling with her, pulling her travel bag to prevent her from leaving. I was so shattered. She wasn’t just a maid though many a person would look down on that job. She was God’s soldier

and messenger on a mission to get me started on the journey of my walk with God.

She was far more than just a house help. She was the one who thought me how to love the Lord, go to church, fast, pray, read my Bible, cook AdΓ©mΓ¨* πŸ˜„ and so many other things at a very young age while I was still in primary school. She was there for me when my mother couldn’t always be. She was my best friend and confidant. I have very fond memories of her. I remember how she would always teach me songs on saturday so I could go and sing them at church on sundays. Mind you, those songs were in English though she wasn’t learned and we both lied a lot while singing πŸ˜‚ but that’s not what mattered.

She was making an impact and shaping a life for Christ. She was sowing into eternity. She probably had no idea what I would become for the Lord in the future but she was just walking in her purpose nonetheless.

Her name was Esther and anytime I tell the testimony of my life, I’d always mention her because she is such a big part of it and I just realised, she was my very first mentor.

Today and on this earth, we won’t see the full magnitude of the things God has called us to do and that seem little to the human eye but Oh, if only God would open our eyes !

Here is what you need to understand. Like Pastor John Gordon Egyir-Croffet always said : nobody is going to give you an award in heaven for having been the best babysitter, banker, manager, architect or whatsoever on earth.(paraphrased)

It’s not about the position. It’s about what you used the position to do while you occupied it. It’s about understanding that there is a greater aim to it all.

Am I saying pursuing a career is wrong ? No. I plan on doing so myself. It isn’t wrong, as long as you’re not dedicating your entire youth/life and energy to it and as long as you are using it to do what actually matters, that is promoting and advancing the course of Christ.

It’s not even about having a corporate career or not. You might as well be into a less “corporate” one and be missing the mark. Yes, men are praising and applauding you. The ground shakes when you walk in the streets and everyone, children and the elderly alike, pay you hommmage but is heaven also giving you a standing ovation ? Does heaven even notice ?

I’m not saying this to look down on you and whatever it is you do in life or discourage you from pursuing your dream career or achievement but the hard truth is and remains:

Listen, I want us to get this clear: some people’s purpose includes climbing the corporate and social ladder, becoming influencial so they can have access to the great and mighty of this earth and influence them as well but for Christ. So I’m not saying have no ambitions. No. Have them but first find out if it’s part of your calling; what God would have you do. Once Christ is at the center of it, the value of it all changes but once He’s not, you would have earned thrillions of whichever currency, organised world-changing social gatherings, fed the poor and needy, defended the orphan and widow, written a thousand best sellers or sang a million hit makers, changed your community, shook hands with presidents etc. but all in vain.

A lot of people put all of their strenght into being philantropists, trying to make the world a better place and it’s a good thing but hear what the Lord (Reffered to here as Wisdom) told Rick Joyner during one of their encounters which he related in his well known book, THE FINAL QUEST.

😊 It’s a hard truth to hear, right ? But it’s the truth nonetheless. Otherwise, God wouldn’t have made sure that an influencial and much respected man like Cornelius got saved after all the good he was doing in his community. Read his story in Acts 10. The whole chapter is about him.

There is one last story I want to share with you. It’s about a heavenly martyre named Angelo. Rick Joyner talks about him in the same book I just cited. Angelo was a poor, homeless, and dumb (speach impaired) man on earth but a martyre and a great King in heaven.

This was the Lord Jesus speaking to Rick Joyner about Angelo during one of their encounters:

The Lord continues:

So now, if getting to know about a story like Angelo’s doesn’t change your entire perspective on life, I don’t know what will.

Have you become so concerned with the cares of life, that you have forgotten about the cares of heaven ?

Pour your life out as an offering to God (Romans 12:1-2), not as an offering to a company that would be so quick to replace you and forget about you when you’re gone or to earthly and human achievements that have no eternal value.
Yes, people may look down on what the Lord has called you to do if it doesn’t fit the human standards of greatness and success because just like babysitting, it seems so insignificant to the human eye and it gets very few praises if any at all but I am encouraging you to look at it with the eyes of the eternal. Choose to place it within eternity’s scope; within heaven persepective.

Is it fitting into the frame ? Yes ?

Then that’s all that matters 😊.

If it’s not, then it’s probably time for a 180Β° turn.

PS: Thank you so much for reading. I hope you were able to grasp something from this. Please go ahead and SHARE this write-up with everyone and THEN SUBSCRIBE to this blog so I always keep you posted. Don’t forget to like the Facebook page as well.πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜‰ GOD BLESS YOU.

PPS: If you wish to read the book I shared from in this write-up (THE FINAL QUEST by RICK JOYNER), you can get in touch with me by sending me a private message on the blog’s Facebook page. I’d be more than glad to share. I believe it will transform your life.


Heya. Let’s have a little chat about healing. I’m here to tell you about one of God’s “methods” of healing.

It is a most misunderstood one because it is subtle and turns the spotlight away from YOU.



Do you have any idea how hard some people can love ? Such people are consequently the ones who feel the most pain in any type of relationship (family, friendship, marriage relationship). That’s also why their healing process takes much longer than with some people .

When you’re someone who loves as hard as this girl right here writing this to you, it is only normal to yearn for something as intense as what you carry within and are willing to give. So when someone comes around and wriggles all that to your face and then tells you, you can’t have any of it, it is the most painful thing ever. You wish they never stopped by. You wish they never got close. And though you know that vengeance belongs to the Lord, you even find yourself wishing they’d one day find themselves where you are now, so they experience your pain and get to know what you are going through. So when God tells you to look outside yourself when all you wanna do is coil up in bed all day long and cry your misery away, it just doesn’t make sense. It seems like God is being insensitive but in actual fact HE is not. Let me tell you how or why.

Have you heard the story of the homeless man who chose to sacrifice himself to keep his friend (not even sure they were friends; maybe just another homeless acquaintance) warm so he wouldn’t die of cold while they were outside, and at the mercy of the cold winter winds and the snow ? His friend was in danger of freezing and dying. So this man decided to wrap his arms around him and rub his hands on him all night long, so his blood would keep circulating and not freeze. This man didn’t realise that by so doing, HE HAD SAVED HIS OWN LIFE. When morning came, both of them were still alive.

For some weeks now, I have been trying to process some emotions ~mostly nefative~ that seem to be going into all directions and in the middle of this emotional chaos, I see God telling me to encourage someone else. This scenario will particularly be true for you if you have the gift of encouragement —you know you have this gift when people keep coming to you for encouragement and return uplifted after having spoken to you EVEN WHEN YOU’RE DOWN YOURSELF—-.

Who encourages the encourager? But here I am and I can clearly see God telling me to help heal another sister/brother when I am persuaded I’m a mess myself and all I wanna do is focus on MY mess.

I find myself down and needing this same encouragement and God is now sending people my way who need encouragement and I feel like screaming : LORD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING ? CAN’T YOU SEE WHAT I’M GOING THROUGH? CAN’T YOU SEE HOW WOUNDED I AM ? Can we focus on ME right now ?!

Have you ever found yourself in this position ? If yes, then take the time to breath in…and breath out πŸ˜„. Now, hear me out: God is just engaging you into this peculiar healing process. It’s not the “coolest” but it’s real.

This is how God heals many times but you won’t get this healing until you decide to surrender and cooperate; not until you decide to just do what He is leading you to do.
God is not being insensitive when in the middle of your struggle He sends you someone else who needs help. He is not being insensitive when while you’re in the eye of the cyclone, HE sends you a brethren who need you to hold their hands so they can get through their own cyclone. HE is healing you but just NOT YOUR WAY. Hear what the Lord says :

~ Isaiah 55:8-9

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord . For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. ~

HE is healing you the homeless man’s way. Just open up your heart and you’ll see.

If you’ve been wondering: Lord why do these people keep coming to me ?! I need a break.

Well, now you know. 😊

Be strong and cooperate. You’ll see how sweet and healthy it is to help heal another person. Your own healing will come as a swift breeze you won’t even feel. Before you could say Jack, you’d be back to life and kicking it again.

It might be a slow process but it sure does work.

In the body of Christ, the Lord never wants “self” to be the focus. His body as a whole is what He sees and we are beautiful pieces of the puzzle ; a million different colours. When different patchworks are being sown together, it can look messy and you won’t get to see the beauty of the work until it’s done

so just TRUST and SURRENDER.

He wants us to understand that we are one body and as we get concerned and more busy with healing each other, we are actually healing ourselves πŸ˜‰.


A little note from God πŸ˜‰


PS: Where you inspired or uplifted? Go ahead and like, comment or SHARE THIS WITH OTHERS. I’d love to hear from you on this or anything else ☺. THANK YOU.


Heya, you missed part 2? This link hereπŸ‘‡ will take you right to it😊. Enjoy!


Hi babe

I was sitting in a trotro* home the other day and I felt like talking to you. I did well to take my phone out and start typing straight away lest I forget the words flowing through my mind at that particular moment.

In my last note, I told you about some of these unspoken fears. Today I’m going to tell you about two more and as I do, I believe I won’t be speaking for myself alone but for the many; saying aloud what many are thinking to themselves and feeling low-key.


I think you know that I know it is almost time for you to fulfill that deal you made with God.

You know that deal where He agreed to keep me hidden for you until I turn the age  I’m about turning in a few days ? 

Babe! This is the part of the movie where you appear in your shinning armour to whisk me away on your majestic horse.

You’re aware, right ??!

Someone was telling my friend Nathalie the other day that maybe her babe’s horse fell into a gutter and broke a leg while he was on his way πŸ˜‚. 

I hope that’s not your case.

A few days ago, I went shopping and I noticed a new restaurant at the mall. I then decided to go in just to check out their menu.

As I was coming back out, holding my shopping bags in one hand and about to engage into a struggle with the heavy glass door in order to push it open, an elderly man who saw me through the door decided to open it for me.

I asked him with surprise written all over my face : were you coming in sir ?

He replied no and as he walked away, he shouted : ” ladies are meant to be served by gentlemen so allow us to take care of you. I know nowadays, these 21st century women want to do everything on their own but express your femininity by just allowing a man to take care of you. ”

As he entered the corridor ahead of him and was out of sight, he reappered, tilted his head back and added: “God created us to help you and you to help us !”

I responded with an hallelujah, a wide grin and a giggle. *Now I wish I took a picture with him*

I marvelled and kept smiling because I knew there and then that this elderly and lovely man was not just babbling. It was as though he had taken a trip down the world in my mind. I realised he was God sent and that I was being fed some manna*

because how could this man have known that this is one of the things I have been thinking about deeply and just a few days ago, I was again.

Thinking about the fact that the day I meet you…

You’re going to realise that I am the embodiment of what a “Miss independent” is.

First of all, I hate asking anyone for help.

Secondly, I’m not used to having someone take care of me.

This started not just because I was raised by a strong mother but also because at a quite early age, I’ve had to put up with responsibilities that were larger than my shoulders. I’ve had to learn to be a grown up real quick to face life’s harsh realities. For me, there was no time for being mama’s girl or baby forever. Of course, I’ve had some of such cherished moments but they weren’t my daily reality. Being strong and always strong was all I had left most of the time. Those close to me have an idea what I mean.
And lastly, I confess that I am a total control freak who always needs everything to be in a certain order.

Aside these, the facts that I have been disappointed so many times in life by people I firmly believed I could count on, thought me how to do things for myself without waiting for anyone’s help. 

I want something ? I go get it ! End of story. Unfortunately, I sometimes carry this into my relationship with God and the way I relate to Him.πŸ˜’πŸ˜”

The perfectionist side of me also makes me do this ‘cos I’m always worried people are gonna mess up or not be as details conscious about a task I delegate to them as I would have myself. I ended up being right about that so many times though. So yeah, you can say I kind of got trust issues. I’m that girl who would psyche herself up for the worst from people 90% of the time instead of ending up disappointed and hurt.

But you see ? In the end, this still didn’t work when it comes to protecting my heart and feelings, so I guess I just have to learn to trust people anyway . It’s a risk one must take in life.

As you can imagine, I went to my all time personal person –my grand-mentor– with this fear and after daddy listened to me for a while, this is what he said ” Constante, you may not feel like relying on a man right now but as time goes on, you’ll feel the need to have a man taking care of you. So it’s alright.  You don’t have to worry. This desire has something to do with genetics and it’s God given, so with time it will manifest itself by all means “. (Paraphrased)

So, problem solved ?

Well, it’s true you have your part to play in showing yourself trust worthy, I’m gonna have to learn to trust you especially and like that old man told me: I’ll have to ACCEPT — ‘cos for me, this whole thing has more to do with taking off the garment of rebellion and accepting that I need a man to take care of me. It puts me in a vulnerable position I don’t like– to let you take care of me and do things for me because I did conduct a little survey 

This was the image for my Facebook survey post

a few weeks ago when I started writing this and one thing was confirmed and clearly came out : I JUST HAVE TO LET YOU not because I can’t do it all on my own but because it matters to you so much and that, that is how God made you and the role He assigned to you. I’d therefore do well to stay out of your lane. πŸ˜πŸ˜„

By now, you’re looking for the other fear I said I’d talk about in my letter, right ? 

Well, here it goes.

It is about one thing you won’t believe I dread but I actually do: INTIMACY ! 

No babe. Not the sexual kind nor the let’s have deep conversations all night long kind. I’m the Queen of deep convos; trust me πŸ˜†πŸ˜‚. Not the saying beautifully ” “butterflyee” things to each other all day long either. 

When I say intimacy, I’m referring to those not-so-pretty moments. I’m reffering to doing the kind of thing this couple is doing in this picture. When we’re able to do stuffs like farting around each other and this πŸ‘‡to and with each other, we’ve truly reached an awesome level of intimacy. πŸ™ŒπŸ˜‚


 Yeah, it looks funny and crazy but when I saw it, I thought of you. I thought of us; of the after-wedding ceremony everyday life moments. 
I thought of those times when you’d ask me to hand you some T-roll because there is none in the restroom and you didn’t check before starting your business.
I thought of the day when I’d be in the shower and forget to pull the curtain and you’d zoom in unannounced because you need to use the other half of the bathroom at the same time.

You know that feeling; how you dread those corporate bathing times when you go for camp and the bathrooms have no shower curtains ? Or again how some married couples otherwise known as #LegalPractitionners* dread making love with their lights still on

Y’all in bed waiting for dum* like…: Umm baby, you forgot to switch off the light


, so they’re actually happy when ECG* does its thing ? There you have it !
I know this can seem weird and make some people laugh but when the Bible says “…the man and his wife were both naked and they felt no shame” , for some of us, it’s not that easy to replicate this! In fact, it’s a big deal! Standing COMPLETELY naked –emotionally, physically (ESPECIALLY) and mentally– before someone for the first time and the days after for the rest of your life is one of the most terrifying things for many people and I am one of them. 

I remember having a conversation with a close female friend some years back and she expressed this same fear. At that time, it seemed so trivial so I just laughed it off and swept if off my mind like unwanted cobwebs. Today I do some deep thinking and realise I’m standing in her shoes and that she was right to feel the way she felt.

More recently I shared with another friend a fact many people ignore about me: I have a hard time looking people in the eye for long. 


I can’t explain why but after a few seconds, my eyelids will be closed like those of the lady in this image. It gets very uncomfortable to me, not just because I have been thought as an African child that starring people in the eye while they talk to you is disrespectful but also because, to me there’s something deeper and awkward to it.

There goes that fear of intimacy again. 

Babe, maybe I’m scared that if I let you gaze into these eyes too long, you’d see something I don’t want you to.

I still can’t tell

I guess we’d just have to wait for the day I meet you to find out.

And oh, about that oreo chocolate ice cream I mention at the end of every letter to you ? Eeermm…let’s just say it’s better I don’t make mention of it this time around πŸ˜‚πŸ˜†. That would be your punishement for taking so long πŸ˜›πŸ˜œ. Not my fault πŸ™ˆπŸ™Š

OK bye. 

Your soon to meet you bae πŸ˜šπŸ˜˜πŸ˜™ #OnDaysLikeThis #WhenINeedaHugSoBadly 

*Trotro : A commercial vehicule used for both long and short distance transportation; it’s a bus and it’s called that way in Ghana.

*manna : the food God fed Israelites while they journeyed through the desert to the promised land. In our modern days, the words God speak to us through other believers (or even unbelievers sometimes) can be considered as manna.

*Legal practitioners : a term I learnt from miss Stephanie Selaewoenam Adenyo. It refers to the legal right of married couples to have sex.

*ECG: the Electricity Company of Ghana

*Dum : the twi word for OFF, to litteraly mean blackout.



 Heya! The beautiful month of May which happens to be my birthday monthπŸ˜ƒ has began, so I think this motivation note is coming in just at the right time.


When you write an anniversary post stating that you used to breakdance in your heydays and then few days later, you meet one of your readers and friend at church and he goes like: “show me the moves !” πŸ˜‚, what do you do ?

Well, I managed to convince him that we weren’t in an appropriate place so he should drop that idea.

Okay. I think I have to specify that the part I played in the group was that of being part of the choreographers. I didn’t exactly do the crazy moves like that girl is doing in the image up there πŸ˜„πŸ‘†. I left those to the guys and some other madly talented girls. 

On a more serious note though. I remember one of my dance partners and close friend whose aunt came to watch us dance on the night of our big show and later told her niece  (i. e. my friend) that she had no idea “heavily endowed-bodied “πŸ˜‚ people could move their bodies that way, so she thinks that she needs to start dancing too because after watching me, she now believes that she can! That woman and I’m pretty sure, many more people were impressed just like her.

Honnestly, look at me πŸ˜„

 If I can breakdance,  what can’t you do ? It’s true that in those days I wasn’t this much endowed but all the same, I loved dancing and I still do, so I went for it. I didn’t allow anyone tell me what they thought I could do or not do; not even my family.

I want you to realise that the only barrier standing between you and that dream you want to achieve is YOURSELF!  You are the first culprit if you’ve not made a single move towards your dream yet. Who tells you, you can’t do it ?!

It’s true and I do not neglect the fact that in those days, I had just entered teenagehood and I had very little consciousness of the way I looked. On a scale of 1 to 10, I was somewhere around 4 when it comes to being conscious of my physical appearance. And I’m glad it was that way because I’m happy I made someone else believe in herself ! Nowadays, the world has gone into a craze about how everyone should look like; unrealistic heavily airbrushed images are constantly shoved down our brains but the truth is, no matter how you think you look – to others and yourself- , IT’S NEVER A BARRIER . Truly, the problem is only in your mind! I have tested this for myself. You may feel like telling me, ” yeah. Nice one CeeJ but talk for yourself. You don’t know what I’m being faced with and this isn’t about breakdance “. Fine but whatever it is, just try ‘cos if you don’t, you’ll never know and you don’t wanna spend the rest of your life wondering : what if…

Plus, one thing is sure anyway, you’re going to gain either one of these two things: a success story or a learning experience πŸ˜‰. It’s never a failure.

But oh, one last thing. Did I forget to say ?: 




Hi y’all !!!

Yes, as real as it gets, CeeJ’s Blog  is one year old! Isn’t this amazing?

Wow, the last 12 months went by so fast. I didn’t think I’d make it this far. As a special one year anniversary post, I have decided to let you into my world a little bit more; after all you’ve been around taking your precious time to read what I have to say and I think this is well deserved and the little I can do in order to get even closer to you through my pen and not remain some kind of mirage or “unreachable little celebrity” (not a celebrity though😁). I’m going therefore to tell you 25 things I bet you didn’t know about me and my write-ups . However, before I do, I’d like to tell you about the Genesis of this Blog.

I started CeeJ’s Blog in the beginning of April last year (2016). I confess I do not recall the exact day and that is because I didn’t think I’d be celebrating an anniversary and would need to remember it one day. I started blogging out of having too much time on my hands because I had completed school and was about to spend a full year I didn’t plan on at home (I’m sure you’re wondering why. That story is being written and I promise to share it with you one day πŸ˜‰), not doing much. More than that, I started this Blog out of a burning passion and desire to communicate all that I knew was within me and that the Lord had given me to share with You ! πŸ‘‰ You, the one reading this ☺. Hiiiii πŸ™‹πŸ™‹πŸ™‹ !!! This blog is just the tip of the iceberg of the calling to be a writer that I know is on my life. I started CeeJ’s Blog with a desire to glorify the One who gives me these words to share. I did not start this blog with the aim of entertaining; nope. This blog may be many things but surely not an entertainment blog.  I started it because I felt bad that the Spirit of God always shared so much with me during my idle times especially and yet at the end of every conversation, I had not penned anything down; I felt guilty. I felt a burden to come out with this Blog and so much more to come. 

And so it started. And I wrote and wrote and wrote. When I write, I do it out of passion and I don’t bother about following technicalities and set rules for what a professional writer would say must go into writing. That might be my only sin but DOES I CARE ? πŸ˜„

Let’s see how much I wrote during those 12 months (these are not coming in their order of publication. Follow the links to read each one.)

1- NANA ( my first story series; 4 episodes ) :

Eps 1



4-THE DAY I MEET YOU 2, THE TABOO POST (most shared) :

5-THE PROCESS (personal favorite) :

6-LET’S STAY INDOORS TODAY (first peom) :

7-YOU WERE ALMOST MY EX, parts 1 to 12 (most popular series):  [eps 1]

8-DOWRY FOR FOREIGNERS (an analogy relating to the challenges of being a foreign student in Ghana):

9-ROMANCING GOD (very first write up as a guest blogger on; published by Benjamin Anyan):



12-DIVINE AUTHENTICATION; Waiting on God’s public authentication stamp :




16-A LETTER TO MY BELOVED BABY BROTHER (a birthday message to my younger brother) :



19- LORD, HE MUST BE A TEN OVER TEN. In Jesus’ name I pray, AMEN! :


20 pieces published in one year! Not bad at all, right ? This wonderful journey has allowed me to connect with a number of wonderful people such as:

My number one fan and personal person so far when it comes to CeeJ’s Blog : ever supportive miss ELORM DAKETSEY !!! Shall we give her a hand please ? This girl knows how to support someone ! Meeehn! 

Then it continued with more awesome people like: mr Etsey Freshie Atisu, miss Korngo Dosoo, miss Portia Nyarko, miss New-Version Pam and my other personal EYO squad and sisters (I won’t be mentioning their names here πŸ˜‰. They know themselves. A big shout out to you all) and last but not least at all, my most recently found boo: Mr Leslie more popularly known as Kossi Akplah. 

 I won’t lie to you, There were many times I almost gave up when I saw the super low number of likes, views and shares after all the hard input but then each time, I remembered what sir Anyan told me when he encouraged me to start this blog. He said something that went like this: “Don’t do it for the likes and shares. Write as though you are having a conversation with someone and do it with the mind that even if you can reach and touch just one life, you’ve reached your goal”. And so, I started this blog. Those words have carried me through the rocky times of being a beginner and lay blogger up to now.

If you know me personally then you probably also know that I am someone with a strong will and character who doesn’t easily back down. 

So, what brought the discouragement? In the world of blogging, we unfortunately have too many silent supporters and readers (for my liking). Yeah, it’s good you really like what that blogger writes but how would they know it and how would their work reach more heights and audience if people like you and I don’t care to share or give even just a like or a few words of encouragement ?! What hurts more is the fact that people you call friends, don’t always show their support as they should when you engage into something new. It’s not just with blogging, it happens in every other aspect of life.

The discouragement I experienced quite often also came from the fact that some of the people I thought I could count on without a doubt, either never showed their support like I expected and like I did with some of them when they were on the same journey or they did but just dropped my hand in the middle of the journey. What happened ? That I can’t tell. 

But like David, I had to learn to encourage myself in the Lord and all the same, the journey was and remains worth it ! I realise how much more worth it it is when I go to a program and someone comes to me saying ” hi. I’ve read or I read your blog and I admire you so much. You’re doing a great job and opening eyes, keep it up”or again when I receive amazing testimonies inbox on Facebook or whatsapp because of a post I wrote. The feeling ? Priceless! My whole world gets lit up and I just can’t hide the wide grin of gratitude on my face. Such fantastic people, keep me going. 

Now on to the list I announced in the introduction πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡


1.  I used to breakdance. I was part of my school’s breakdance club (the type of dance associated to hip hop) when I was in Junior High School. We danced before crowds coming from other high schools during our cultural week. My school was one of the most popular ones in town and I kind of was too. Yeah…I was my own kind of thug like that, you know πŸ˜ŽπŸ˜‚.

2. I am 100% a francophone from Togo

3. One of my dreams as a child was to one day be able to speak perfect English (from Britain) . Lol. #StillGettingThere

4. I’m not supsosed to start chatting with anyone until I get my quiet time done in the morning. #StillWorkingOnThat πŸ™ˆ.

5. Twiceβ€” but probably more times than I would ever knowβ€” God litteraly saved my life while death was starring me in the face. (Stories to be told later πŸ˜‰)

6. I was not born into a christian family. Yup 😊! Surprised? 

7. You can see me with socks even while it’s hot outside, cos I get cold feet -physically- very often. 

8. I love the smell of clean and the view of a nicely made bed. I’m crazy about fancy bedsheets. #Bedsheets junky

9. When I was little, I used to wish I was a boy. I was so obsessed with this desire that I one day tried peeing while standing. Don’t ask me if I succeeded and don’t ask me why I did that πŸ˜‚, I don’t know it myself. 

10. I’m a crazy and happy person who doesn’t seem like one at first sight but trust me, I am fun πŸ˜‰.

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I’m awesome like that 😜

11. I’m not as old as you think 😜; still in my 20’s. People always think I’m a grandmother already. πŸ˜žπŸ˜• Why? Just WHY ???

12. If you’re my friend, I am ready to do just anything for you ‘cos I really don’t know how to measure love and attention. πŸ’—

13. I’m a member of EYO; Excellent Youth Outreach (a non denotminational youth ministry founded by Pastor John Gordon Egyir-Croffet ) where I was connected to purpose and destiny and was propelled to another level in my walk with God. 

14. Mr Anyan Benjamin of is the one who encouraged me to start my blog; I was so scared πŸ™Š (What if no one reads it? What if it sucks?  What if no one shares? What if it’s a failure? Etc…) . My first ever published write-up β€”ROMANCING GODβ€” was on their blog as a guest blogger. 

15. Give me Couscous [Wait. What? You don’t know what Couscous is? Awww…You’re missing out on a lot in this life], chicken and a riped, multicouloured, not too soft, exquisitely perfumed mango and you’ll make me the happiest person on earth. πŸ˜„

16. Almost every time I share a new piece with you, I’m actually sharing with you a piece of myself. Most of my write ups stem from experiences; What can I talk to you best about other than that which I have experienced myself ? 😊 That is why what I write is like 80% reality and 20% fiction. 

17. The YOU WERE ALMOST MY EX series was actually a single story that I ended up stretching into 12 episodes.

18. I am scared everytime I have to put up a new post πŸ˜³πŸ™ŠπŸ™ˆ. I’m worried that no one would like or read it. That fear even causes me to postpone publishing sometimes. That is why I have quite a stock of unpublished write ups.

19. I was a prodigal daughter whom the Lord found again when I was in SHS 1 before it was too late. Yes ! 

20- I have a B.A. degree in French and English Translation with Spanish as my third language

21. I am currently working on getting a Masters Degree in Conference Interpretation.

22. I have 4 siblings and I am the third one; right in the middle.

23. I sing and I am a praise and worship leader. The world is yet to discover that side of me.

24. Nana from my first series NANA and Adjoa from YOU WERE ALMOST MY EX are truly based on true life stories like I said. The main characters in these two stories are one and the same and a real human being

25. And that Human Being is MOI ! Once again, Hiii! 😊

Bonus number- 26: This is the one most people don’t believe😁: I AM STILL WAITING ON MY MAN OF GOD and it’s going to be so worth it πŸ˜‰πŸ˜ŒβœŒ. Watch out !

PS: NANA and  YOU WERE ALMOST MY EX are portions of my testimony and I’m standing unashamed to share it for the Lord’s glory. Of course, some parts of these stories are still fiction. You can follow the links in the list of posts and read them. 

PPS: DID you enjoy our one year celebration post ? My longest so far  if I am not mistakenπŸ˜„. I hope you did and that you REMEMBER TO HIT THE LIKE AND SHARE BUTTONS. Thanks for stopping by. The pleasure was all mine πŸ˜‰. 


Hey guys! I am first of all so sorry for vanishing the way I did. Life just got so busy with being a student again,  finding myself a new place, then moving in after having found it. Pphew!πŸ˜“  It was a real battle πŸ˜„ but thanks be to God, I won and I’m coming out stronger.

I have so much in stock ooh. Will try not to disappear again😊. Now, I hope you enjoy this come back post πŸ˜‰



Whatever I am about to say now, I say from my own experience. Someone’s experience might be different  (I’ll be glad to hear about that) and they might therefore not agree with what follows, and that is totally fine.


In this particular scenarioπŸ‘‡

You have someone of the opposit sex as a very close friend or as your best friend, but you guys don’t intend to get into a relationship and get married because he/she has a bae they are secretly in love with and in the near future they’ve already appointed you as the head of their wedding committee. 

Everything is so blissful between you guys. You open up to each other, share secrets and memories, share the same passions…. You know every little detail about them. How they think that it is weird to offer people gifts on their birthdays or this childish but cute fear they have of lightning and thunder when it’s raining cats and dogs. You guys just “entertwine” and at the same time “insividualise” so well. And that manner they have of hugging you everytime you guys meet up that says: “yeah, I missed you too and you mean so much to me” just feels like heaven. The feeling topped up with the crazy laughs and late night unending chats? Indescribable. 😊😍

But then, that fateful day is gonna come when they finally get to propose to bae and bae says yes. So now they’re together and you’ve  more or less become a third wheel.

The truth of the matter is, wether you like it or not, there is a choice he/she is naturally gonna have to make, ‘cos bae is not just bae, bae is bestie of life too; best friend forever. Therefore, keeping you around and trying to keep things the way they were between you two will only complicate things.

So here is what’s gonna happen in most cases:

It’either you become bae (which is now mathematically impossible because there can only be one bae. If you both try forcing things to remain the same, it will result into emotional or even physical cheating) because being intimate friends with someone entails spending lots of time with each other wether through social media and phone calls or in person. And the one entering a relationship would have to “cheat” or deprive his/her new boyfriend or girlfriend of such amounts of time in order to spend it with you the best or close friend. One way or the other, someone is going to be deprived and have to suffer for the other party to enjoy.

Or you have to “clear off” i. e.  gradually vanish into the scenerie,’cos one thing is sure: at some point, you guys can no longer have the same level of intimacy or closeness you used to have.
When I talk of you having to clear off, I don’t mean your friendship would totally die by all means, but what would be left of it once bae is in, won’t (and shouldn’t ) be much. Your intimacy would go from let’s say level 20 to level 1. Yeah, that bad; that serious. Sowiii. 
So if it should happen that your friendship ended even before he/she found and got bae, you should just look at things from the bright side: it was gonna happen anyway.

Maybe not in such a dramatic way but the reduction of intimacy level was unavoidable. So just keep your smile on and thank God anyways.

And for you the gentlemen especially, know and accept this: IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP AND HAVE A FEMALE AS YOUR BEST FRIEND. It just doesn’t work! Remember that women are emotional creatures and you’ll have to make a choice at some point. No, you can’t have both. I’m sorry but that’s just the way it is. 

PS: Was this instructive or enlightening? Yes? Don’t forget to click the SHARE button and subscribe. Like the Facebook page and follow us for more πŸ˜‰πŸ˜Š


​HelOoo! πŸ™‹ I hope you’ll love this controversial piece from my deepest thoughts. Did you miss Part 1? No worries, just follow this link:Β

Happy reading !Β 


Baby, how are you doing today?

I’m missing you a lot. Still thinking about that day

The day I meet you

So I thought why not write you another letter. Maybe it will reach you earlier than I know. All things are possible, right ?

You know, one of the things I had promised myself is that you wouldn’t come and find me like this

I am referring to my life long battle with extra pounds . You wouldn’t believe it if I told you all the crazy things I have done to make them go

About a little over a year ago, I got closer to my goal than ever. But a full year at home gave them the time to come back and even bring some friends with themselves.

I was so disappointed and mad at myself. I almost panicked knowing that the time for you to be here in this life of mine is getting closer and closer

But then I have decided to see the brighter side of this whole thing: if you meet me as I am now πŸ™ˆ and love me…like I know you will

Then I have nothing to worry about

Anyway, daddy always tells me that the man I marry is going to love EVERY part of me; my bourrelets d’amours* included πŸ˜‰πŸ˜

But make no mistake please, the fact that I wanna look and stay healthy by cutting a few kilos down doesn’t mean I doubt how beautiful and sexy this body of mine is.

I promise you this has nothing to do with low self-esteem. You can ask miss Peace Thonard who inspired me to write this second epistle or miss Dosoo Korkor whom I affectionately call Kinshasa

They’ll tell you all about how no one has more self-esteem and confidence than I do. Well, on some days more than others I guess. Lol

I also want you to know that, this is not to say I am giving up on this anti-kilos campaign I’m on.

It’s not all about having you awestruck when you see me from day one, it’s also about my own health and increasing my sex-appeal level πŸ˜‰

Yes, I said it!

They day I meet you,

There are a number of things I have to warn you about though

I am not the kind of Christian woman who is afraid to talk about sex (in the proper context) or how to be a married woman with a killer sex life.

In fact I even plan to have such a special women’s ministry.

I believe that most of our ladies (about to be married and married) seriously lack that sex education component in their knowledge baggage.

Many marriages are hitting the rocks because madam has no sex life BECAUSE she think it’s unholy to use positions in bed other than those in the “Holy Sutra” agreed on by the Church. Hence her frequent use of the star-fish position

Come on in boo boo! I’m all ready! Just do ya thing

where all she does is lie down there like a log of wood while hubby does all the work

BECAUSE they think it unholy to wear certain kind of underwear or piece of clothing (in the privacy of their home) so that hubby goes wild when he sees them

They’d rather stick to the kind of panties and brassieres our grandmothers wore during last century because “I am a Pastor’s wife”. JeZOz! 😡😨😱

But I don’t Β totally blame my ladies. No one thought them what they needed to be thought because such things are widely taboo beginning from our (christian) homes, so how much more in Church!

Baby, GOD. MADE. SEX. for Christ sake!!

Don’t you think He’d want us to put every chance on our side so we can enjoy it? If it was just for making babies, then it should be “tasteless”

Darling, when it’s time to preach and teach, you’ll find me rightly standing behind the pulpit with fire on my tongue and anointing dripping from my head

But when it’s “time for the time” or even that time before the time, you’ll find a different kind of woman with the proper fire and anointing for the circumstances

My other warning has to do with the expression of my love

You remember in my last letter, I spoke of the fact that I don’t know how to do things half way ? Right

I really don’t know how to be: half a friend, half a girlfriend, half a wife… It’s either I’m all up in it or I’m totally not

Many a people find it hard to understand the kind of passion that I come to everything that I do with and they can’t stand the kind of emotions I bring

I really don’t know how to dish out feelings with a measurement ladle. I’d be fake doing that and being fake is not part of my DNA coding

I’ll love you in a way no woman has ever dared to. I don’t even think I wanna have the patience for you to start first before I show you all the diverse manners in which I can love you

I’ll wait for you to give the “coup d’envoi”* though ‘cos I know you are the pursuer and I don’t wanna take that from you
My love can seem overwhelming and choking at times, but baby, I’ll learn

And together we’ll grow

I’m currently taking another one of my patience and long-suffering exams again and Baby, it’s hard! Real hard and stressful but again, you’re more than worth it

People always tell me about how great an adviser I can be. However, I do not allow this to get into my head. I am aware love is that decision that stays after the butterflies have stopped flapping their wings in my tummy

And theory may be harder than practice because having theoretical knowledge (book knowledge) about a certain field doesn’t automatically make you an expert in it. Practice is the real thing.
And oh, before I forget…

I recently came across someone who is beginning to look more and more like you. But don’t worry. I am being extra careful cos I’m aware that copies can sometimes look exactly like the original.

I hope it’s not you playing tricks on me though πŸ‘€

Cos I’d make you pay for that the day I meet you 😏

You better hurry up.

How long do you think a girl can keep an oreo chocolate ice cream without being tempted ? I know I love you but…

Come on !! Let’s not exaggerate πŸ˜„

Your soon to meet you bae. On days like this when I need a hug so badly 😊

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The spoon I was using for my ice cream almost fell out of my hand. The scoop in my mouth felt hot as if cooked on fire. “Sorry, you said…?” I asked for a second time while I swallowed hard. My ears tingled more and more and I felt dizzy as though under a spell. I couldn’t believe what I just heard from my brother in-law to be.

Jean-Jacques was one of Erica’s two brothers who lived abroad. I heard he was around, so I took the opportunity to get to know him on a more personal note.

The beautifully enclosed garden of LA PIEDRA italian restaurant where I had invited him for lunch in an attempt to get myself an ally and at the same time get more information on what my bride to be’s dowry requirements would be like suddenly felt air tight.

My neck tie felt even tighter as though pulled backward by an invisible hand. I was not ready for this at all .
I clearly remember about 10 years ago when my eldest cousin was getting ready to tie the knot. At the time, I was only 18. He came to me all excited with that goofy lover grin on his face. You know, the one guys have on all the time when they’re really in love and can’t hide it. That one that makes them look somewhat silly. Lol

He had just discovered that the dowry he would be paying for marrying his beloved was so “simple” , he had nothing to worry about. He could pay for everything himself. There was no need to borrow from a bank or sell anything of value he had. The family had simply requested for:

One liter of pure akpeteshi.

Twelve bottles of other alcoholic drinks,

two crates of soft drinks and a 50 000 Francs envelope.

In his excitement, his cousin told him, you’d be lucky and blessed if you get a girl from the Guinea Golf to marry ooh. An Ewe one especially.

So what wasn’t my joy when I met Erica several year later. We had been courting for almost 2 and a half years now and it was time they made it official so I could get to taste “the do” if you know what I mean. Yeah, I was a practicing christian and tasting “the do” before both official and divine permission to taste it though very tempting due to Erica’s curvaceous body wasn’t allowed. That girl eeh… It was a dangerous thing to drag your feet when walking with her, the visions her back offered would lead you into the nearest gutter before you knew it.

I, Kwaku Amponsah DeWelsh, a fresh university graduate who got a job at FaWoSikaBraeh* bank for only a year now. Where was I supposed to get the money for such a skyrocketing dowry ?πŸ˜²πŸ˜¨πŸ˜³πŸ™† :

25 000 dollars in cash

1 Bentley

12 crates of soft drinks

20 cartons of MoΓ«t Chandon and other alcoholic drinks

5 cows and 4 white she-goats

A 4 acres lands in Accra airport city and 6 diverse bundles of Vlisco cloths.

“Ewurade mewu!*” I thought to myself. How on earth do I do this? Even if I sold my father, mother and 5 siblings, I couldn’t get the money for such a dowry.
I managed to regain some composure and ask my now friend (or so I thought) and prospective brother in-law in a semi-distraught semi-jokingly tone : but why is it that way? My cousin whose mother is even from your country married a lady from your tribe and the dowry was so light. Since when did it change ?

He put a hand on my shoulder, smiled and replied: but you are a foreigner; 100% a foreigner. And that’s the dowry for foreigners. We can’t request from outsiders, the exact same things we request from our own brothers.

Dowry for foreigners ?!

You must be kidding, right? I asked while laughing nervously. My country is like a stone throw away from yours. We are almost from the same land bro. People who live in our closest town to your country, even cross the border everyday to school or work in yours and vice versa ooh. Why the division? We ought to be united, Β I added hoping to turn things around.

That was when Jean-Jacques asked the question that shut me up for good: can you please show me your passport, sir? At that point, I knew I was finished and my love story with Erica over. This stone hearted prospective in-law of mine had just proved me they weren’t going to budge. No mercy for the foreigner I was. I was an opportunity; a golden cow and they were going to milk me to the bones.

Before I could think of what to say next, he continued: ” And since you like talking unity, before you try reasoning that both our countries belong to the Federation of United West African Nations (FUWAN), let me take you down there. You are an educated man and you of all people should know that, that thing is an illusion, is bogus and only works on paper. In real life, there is no United Federation whatsoever. Massa, you can complain all you want ooh, that’s how it is now, has always been and will always be. My family did not invent this. It’s the new world order. EgbΓ© oo, Γ©lΓ΅n oo…ohOoo !!!” *

EgbΓ© Ooh…ElΓ΅n ooh…OhOoo


I went home more pissed than sad.

“Foreigner…Foreigner…Foreigner…!!!! As if that was the first word they learnt the day they came out of their mothers’ womb. πŸ˜‘πŸ˜’πŸ˜’Mtcheeew! And so what? A hustling foreigner must not marry? And what is it with the dollars sef? Can’t they collect money in their own currency? It’s Β people like them who are bringing their country’s economy down. Eii Ewiase! Why are people so heartless? What do I do now? Run away with the girl or kidnapp her? Oh naaa…Unfortunately this is real life and not some tele novela. Hmm. It is well. God is watching. One day one day…They’ve forgotten there is a God eeh, and a judgement day coming.”

In a last attempt to fix things, he reluctantly picked his phone to call his soon to be exed darling. She immediately picked up and was greeted with a cold “hello madam” instead of the excited usual “hey baby doll”.

-What’s wrong darling, she asked.

-Everything is wrong! Kweku replied almost raising his voice. I spoke to your brother today and it seems this is the end of us, unless you agree to help me on this one.

-Help you how?

-You know I love you with my life and I could give my last breath for you, but please, can’t you speak to your dad about reviewing the items on your dowry list? Β Maybe he will listen to you.

-hmm. Kweku, I love you too but as for that one… . Whatever my dad and brothers say is what goes. There’s nothing I can do about it.

Kweku opened his mouth in disbelief for the second time that day and no words could come out.

-Hello…Hello…baby are you there? Please try to…

Puuun…puuun…puuun… The line went dead before she could place another word. He hanged up. He had heard enough. With the back of his hand, he wiped the single silent tear that had rolled down from the corner of his left eye.

That night, he laid wide awake in bed till dawn, wishing God would bring some kind of punishment down on Erica’s family and Jean-Jacques especially. He did not have the strength to pick up when she started calling back and texting. It would have turned into an ugly phone fight leading nowhere and that was the last thing he needed. In his heart, he was mad at her. He was mad because he suspected she was aware of it all but never said a word. Why did she make him waste almost 3 years of his life? “And oh God! After all the waiting I just did. If I had chopped some mmom, it would have been better. Well, let me not be silly but truth is, this is now paining me the more. Ash3 me roff. Β Eeii…I can’t believe I’m gonna miss out on all that goodness. ”

He put his phone on airplane mode to stop the calls and messages.

Surely, the tables would turn around one day. He’s also got sisters and cousins to marry and karma is a bitch, they say. Β  Β He nervously closed his eyes while searching for sleep and trying to keep the image of Erica’s bountiful goddess body out of his mind.

Tomorrow will be a better day.


*Ewurade mewu: Lord, I’m dead!Β 

*FaWoSikaBraeh : Bring your money

*EgbΓ© Oooh…Elon Oooh…OhOoo : Wether you like it or not…