UNREQUITED FEELINGS

Hey y’all !!! It’s been ages and I don’t even have a proper apology. I don’t know if this is a comeback but I just wanted to share this with you. Plus, I figured, if I’m going to keep this blog alive, I can’t keep keeping all the juicy Facebook posts I regularly make on my wall, away from here forever. It’s unfair to you guys.

Today, I would like to talk about unrequited emotions, love.

This post was inspired by a comment section conversation I had with two virtual friends, on nowhere else but Zuckerberg street, of course.

Alright. Can we dive in please ? This is a short one so I’ll only need a few minutes of your time.

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What do you say when someone says “I miss you” or “I love you” but the feeling is not mutual?

A wise man once told me “when you find out someone is in love with you but you don’t feel the same way about them, do your best to protect their heart”. What did he mean? Something I wish someone had taught me earlier in life.

He simply meant: don’t hurt them out of pride or for the fun of it. Don’t intentionally hurt their feelings, bruise their heart. I’d advise you to please be gentle with everyone who professes love to you or shows interest in you. The reason being that you could be in their shoes one day and I’m sure you’d want to be treated kindly and your heart handled gently. Rejection is not a pleasant experience. It could even be devastating for some people’s self-esteem and confidence so always put yourself in the other person’s shoes. For all you know, you are even the first person they mustered the courage to say such a thing to.

If you hurt them from the get-go, they may never try with someone else again. It doesn’t hurt to be kind to someone who likes/loves you even if you don’t like/love them back. Once they are not being a pest… Answers like “awww…or I love you too SIS/BRO/FRIEND/PAL” or “I’m flattered but unfortunately, I don’t feel the same way about you” etc are more appropriate answers IMO. Granted, it doesn’t take the pain away but that’s always better than a harsh response.

After first attempt(s) at being gentle, if they still won’t hear word then you may be blunt but I encourage you, urge you even, to always try the gentle approach first.

Have a great week!

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Thank you for stopping by !

RELATIONSHIP TIPS, ANYONE ?

Yesterday (on my Facebook wall), I shared a post where I said concerning relationships, that Christians should proceed this way when they’re interested in someone and want to find out God’s will concerning them being with that person :

1-Pray 2-Get confirmation from God (could be that inner peace + other factors God gives you. Don’t rely on just one factor. Hopefully my book will talk more extensively about this) 3- Define purpose of relationship (this means you would have proposed/received a proposal and gotten a yes/said yes by then) 4- Start dating towards marriage.

A lot of people won’t like the sound of this because it sounds like rigid rules. The world likes to rather do the opposite. They do it in reverse. They propose to that person/accept a proposal without praying, start dating and then when they are very far into the relationship or about to get married, they now wanna find out what God has to say.

Well, in actual fact, they just want God to be on the side of whatever they already have going on and if He won’t, He should just shut up and give them His blessings anyway.

Sadly, majority of Christians today are doing the same thing: I do my own thing and then later when I remember there is a God somewhere whom I say I worship, I ask Him to bless what I have made/built without His input.

The danger in doing this is that not only do you expose yourself to heartbreak and emotional torture if you’re a christian who cares about being in God’s will, but you’re only going to create unnecessary problems for yourself.

What if after you’ve spent time bonding, and sometimes financially investing yourself, your time, your dreams and aspirations into that person, you now remember to go to God, and God says ” no, they are not the one for you. It won’t work ” ?

You see ? Unnecessary heartbreak, shattered plans and looming depression. It is now hard to part ways because you’re already so deep into them.

There are only two things you would do at this point.

Ignore God’s voice and go ahead with your wedding plans anyway and set yourself up for more disappointments and heartbreak in the future.

Or, listen to God and literally have to wrench yourself out of that relationship you built outside His will.

None of which is pleasant.

Which option seems safer to you ?

What’s it gonna be ?

Seemingly rigid rules to protect your heart or do your own thing and risk it all ?

Tell me what you think.

PS : I am so glad to have you here. Thank you so much for reading. PLEASE REMEMBER TO NOT KEEP THIS TO YOURSELF. WHY NOT SHARE AND SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE ?

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YOU WERE ALMOST MY EX

Episode 2

In episode 1, Adjoa and Kyle were exchanging whatsapp messages while we reminisced the day they met. 

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Look babe, I made a digital drawing of the pic you sent me the other day

 

Kyle next sent her this photo and her mind went back to that fateful day they meet and to the smile.

That smile? It would make even a zamanama want to use whatever toothpaste brand he used, for life. He went on: “Ice tea is my favourite too. Hey, I’m Kyle. I own a shop here and I’ve seen you walk around for a while now. You passed in front of my shop at least 4 times already. You seem lost. Maybe I can help ? ”

“Oh God! This is so embarrassing. And Adjoa don’t you take another look. Like uncle Job said, the second one is where all the danger is. Keep looking down or go through your phone while answering him, he can still hear you”. Kyle had no idea the battle that was going on inside Adjoa’s mind. But he still waited throughout the long 5 minutes it took her to answer.

-Yeah… I’m looking for that new lingerie shop and this place is so big!

-Okay, should we go? Here. After you.
She mechanically got up and followed him. About 10 min later, they were standing in front of the HERS AND HIS shop sign.

-We’re here. This is the one you were looking for. Right? Okay. Do you want me to accompany you inside or something? I won’t brag but I’m like an expert when it comes to these stuffs, he said pointing at the lingerie shop.

-No thanks. They both laughed.

And he has the sense of humour too. She thought to herself. But she knew too well, what that kind of humour suggested about the sort of guy he is.

-Alright miss Adjoa. I’m still gonna ask for your number though. You wouldn’t mind me calling you, right? He was smiling broadly and looking intently at her.

-How did you know my name?! She asked with a frown.

-Your necklace

Dad had offered her that silver necklace on her 21st birthday. He said she was an adult now and deserved wearing something with her name on it.

Kyle had left about 20 min ago and Adjoa couldn’t understand what just happened. She didn’t realise when she had started typing her phone number on that stranger’s phone and even selecting the ‘add another field’ option to add her email and office number. She had been in Kyles presence for about just 30 minutes and she was already like a liquified guacamole. Her legs felt like cotton and her head like an empty can. Despite the panic, she enjoyed the feeling of imminent danger surging over her; the fear and attraction of the forbidden and unknown scared and pulled her close at the same time. She felt what Edje often termed “guilty excitement”.

“ Oh God! What did I do? How am I gonna get myself out of this. Father, You promised not to lead us into temptation. This is your daughter sending you an SOS ! ”

To be continued 

*zamanama: a member of a certain tribe known for their nomadic life and total indifference to body hygiene. 

Ps: Stick with us for the following episodes. Don’t forget to share!