Hey guys! I am first of all so sorry for vanishing the way I did. Life just got so busy with being a student again,  finding myself a new place, then moving in after having found it. Pphew!πŸ˜“  It was a real battle πŸ˜„ but thanks be to God, I won and I’m coming out stronger.

I have so much in stock ooh. Will try not to disappear again😊. Now, I hope you enjoy this come back post πŸ˜‰



Whatever I am about to say now, I say from my own experience. Someone’s experience might be different  (I’ll be glad to hear about that) and they might therefore not agree with what follows, and that is totally fine.


In this particular scenarioπŸ‘‡

You have someone of the opposit sex as a very close friend or as your best friend, but you guys don’t intend to get into a relationship and get married because he/she has a bae they are secretly in love with and in the near future they’ve already appointed you as the head of their wedding committee. 

Everything is so blissful between you guys. You open up to each other, share secrets and memories, share the same passions…. You know every little detail about them. How they think that it is weird to offer people gifts on their birthdays or this childish but cute fear they have of lightning and thunder when it’s raining cats and dogs. You guys just “entertwine” and at the same time “insividualise” so well. And that manner they have of hugging you everytime you guys meet up that says: “yeah, I missed you too and you mean so much to me” just feels like heaven. The feeling topped up with the crazy laughs and late night unending chats? Indescribable. 😊😍

But then, that fateful day is gonna come when they finally get to propose to bae and bae says yes. So now they’re together and you’ve  more or less become a third wheel.

The truth of the matter is, wether you like it or not, there is a choice he/she is naturally gonna have to make, ‘cos bae is not just bae, bae is bestie of life too; best friend forever. Therefore, keeping you around and trying to keep things the way they were between you two will only complicate things.

So here is what’s gonna happen in most cases:

It’either you become bae (which is now mathematically impossible because there can only be one bae. If you both try forcing things to remain the same, it will result into emotional or even physical cheating) because being intimate friends with someone entails spending lots of time with each other wether through social media and phone calls or in person. And the one entering a relationship would have to “cheat” or deprive his/her new boyfriend or girlfriend of such amounts of time in order to spend it with you the best or close friend. One way or the other, someone is going to be deprived and have to suffer for the other party to enjoy.

Or you have to “clear off” i. e.  gradually vanish into the scenerie,’cos one thing is sure: at some point, you guys can no longer have the same level of intimacy or closeness you used to have.
When I talk of you having to clear off, I don’t mean your friendship would totally die by all means, but what would be left of it once bae is in, won’t (and shouldn’t ) be much. Your intimacy would go from let’s say level 20 to level 1. Yeah, that bad; that serious. Sowiii. 
So if it should happen that your friendship ended even before he/she found and got bae, you should just look at things from the bright side: it was gonna happen anyway.

Maybe not in such a dramatic way but the reduction of intimacy level was unavoidable. So just keep your smile on and thank God anyways.

And for you the gentlemen especially, know and accept this: IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP AND HAVE A FEMALE AS YOUR BEST FRIEND. It just doesn’t work! Remember that women are emotional creatures and you’ll have to make a choice at some point. No, you can’t have both. I’m sorry but that’s just the way it is. 

PS: Was this instructive or enlightening? Yes? Don’t forget to click the SHARE button and subscribe. Like the Facebook page and follow us for more πŸ˜‰πŸ˜Š



  1. Naema says:

    It’s real; it’s true. You should advice yourself if you don’t want to be third wheel. No one enjoys being second place (well some people do πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚) but this is really some good stuff girl! Deep and profound truths as it should be said. Great write up!


  2. The Page says:

    I enjoyed reading this . Very true and quite sad too…reality it is though. I’ve actually experienced it recently koraa..hehe it’s all good. We thank God for friendship and all others lol


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