Do you remember this quote 👇from the latest series I wrote titled YOU WERE ALMOST MY EX (read here: In episode 4 where it appeared, I talked about something I’d now like to expand on; a lesson.

Two things inspired me to write this piece: a conversation I recently had with a friend who confided in me about the kind of struggle I am about to talk about and then,  reading the latest article from Erin Nichole’s Blog (HEALING FROM A FAILED ENGAGEMENT: The level of transparency in that post encouraged me and made me want to share this and so much more to come (my story is a whole encyclopedia and I will share it bit by bit as the Lord leads me and gives me the courage to 😊). After all, doesn’t the Bible say that we go through what we do not just for our sake but for the sake of others? Alright. 

So, you noticed this cute girl/guy on social media, in your office, neighborhood, school, at the mall or group outing and you are wondering if you should go say helo? Or now, you have said helo and you’re just thinking if you shouldn’t go ahead and collect her/his number ? You know you walked over to them because of that feeling on the inside. It feels like… LUST. You know it is lust but you still go ahead because, hey, they are so dead gorgeous and you guys may never meet again…You’ve managed to convince yourself that you could just be friends after all, right? There is no harm in that. Plus, you are going to make sure that, that lust-founded attraction dies down anyway for you trust in your ability to treat them as brothers/sisters in all purity. 😆 heehee

At this juncture, let me tell you a little story. Throwback to 3 years ago. 

So, there I was, about to fall in love again with a guy I knew I had no permission to take long desire-filled looks at. This wasn’t the first time. My stubbornness had gotten me into unbelievably unpleasant situations.

I meet him during one of the two annual youth camps I go to almost every year. I’m not going to mention his name of course. He could be your cousin or uncle and I don’t want you to go and do Konkonsa*. Lol 😄😜He came to visit a friend and mutual acquaintance and before my heart leaped and I made a move, the warning from the sweet gentle voice was coming in already, but of course I stifled the persisting: “Don’t do this Constante. This one is not yours. Stay away. You’re gonna regret this”. I was now standing in front of him, grining from one ear to the other and introducing myself. Hand shakes and names exchanged. I wasn’t the only one with eyes over there, therefore I saw many butterflies flapping their wings around him of course. But what wasn’t my surprise when he came to spend a few minutes with me and get my number while I sat away in my corner, quietly eating my piece of the birthday cake of that evening. He stood pretty close in front of me so we could hear each other when we talked ‘cos the music was loud.

 You could see some sparkles flying between us like fireflies on a moonless night. He was gone few moments later after a reaffirmed promise of calling me. I was elated.
From there, calls became frequent, giggles without reason, I miss you texts (mostly from me, I must admit) and a stop by anytime he was in Accra ( ‘cos he wasn’t and God knows what would have happened if he was). We never got physical and I thank God for that. I wanted him; I wanted him to be the one and when it came to us, for more than a year, I shut God out. It was the part of my life I didn’t let Him talk to me about. I was going after what I wanted. I was determined and I was letting it happen. 

I fell in love and I fell hard; very hard. I tried as much as possible to deny it to myself. The only moment I finally agreed I was, was when it was time for me to hug my pillow tight and cry myself to sleep for months every night. 

 My heart ached; litteraly. It was awful. I never knew something as immaterial as emotions could manifest in such a physical manner. No one had ever told me that when your heart ached in emotions, it also ached in your very chest. I had never experienced that before. That should tell you how hard I fell. 

How did the hurting and healing part eventually happen?

It was either things got lustfully physical (and we’re getting extremely and  dangerously close to the non-return line) and I had to break everything off like I knew I’d have to from the very beginning or I ended up discovering that the feelings weren’t exactly mutual or they already had their eyes on someone else.

Reason why I am telling you all of this ?So many times we find ourselves entangled in situations we should have never even been in with a guy/a lady whom we should have never get passed HELLO with. We end up having our hearts broken and our purity defiled because we allowed “strangers” to sweet talk and woo us without the Spirit’s permission.

If you’d be honest with yourself, you’d agree that: You did feel that inner voice prompting you when you took the first gaze 

 and then when you decided to take another one, longer this time, get closer, prolonge the conversation a little bit more than you should 

and when you finally in an ultimate act of disobedience, decided to give them your number or collect theirs. I lie? Well, I felt the promptings everytime. I convinced myself I could play with fire without getting burned or my clothes smelling smoke. I was wrong! Each and everytime. I learnt the hard way that ignoring the Spirit’s warnings was dangerous and expensive.

Don’t lie to yourself like I did too many times. You like her/him, she/he likes you back but you are very much aware that their Christian life or relationship with God is almost non-existant… You guys are gonna be spending a lot of time together physically  and/or talking on the phone… Feelings are gonna build up. You will get attached. Your heart will get attached and when it’s time to obey and part, it will hurt !  

Don’t entertain what you know very well is dangerous and forbidden you. The secret lies in not beginning at all. 

I am sharing this to you 👉. Yes, you the one reading this. So that if you have found yourself in any such situation before and are wondering how to prevent this from happening again because like most humans, you just have an appetite for forbidden things and it seems you can’t help it, know that there is a remedy. Check in with your heavenly Father through His counselor, the Holy Spirit and pay heed. Guard your heart () If you have a relationship with Him, you’ll  always hear the warning. 

Remember. The spell only works before the snake bites. Once it has (because in this case you let it), it doesn’t work and the recovery process is painful. You don’t wanna go through that. 

*Konkonsa : gossip

*Prévenir vaut mieux que guérir: To prevent is better than to heal

PS: Thanks for reading. I hope this was instructive and enjoyable. KINDLY SHARE and then subscribe for more or go visit and like the Facebook page so I always keep you posted 😉☺


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