Something not so new actually. Something I have kept in my cupboard for a long time and I am only finishing now. I hope you enjoy it 🙂
To my ladies and gentlemen,
Who have been fortunate enough to hear from God about their future spouse. I mean, thanks to prophecies or words of knowledge, revelations or dreams, you by now have little details as to : what kind of job they would be doing, what they studied in school, how old you would be when you meet them and even what they would look like etc.
Now. Has it ever occured to you that maybe the future God spoke to you about with them, is a future from after meeting them and not from when you meet them?
I once went for a prophetic program where the man of God recounted this anecdote:
A lady who had promised herself she will never marry a man of God, was prophesied to about marrying one in the future. She vehemently rejected the prophecy and thus made sure she rejected proposals from any such men as well.
Then finally, her kind of “prince charming” came around. A young man who worked in the corporate world as a banker. She gleefully accepted his proposal and they got married. Six months into their marriage, the man announced to her that he was going to resign from his job and enrol into Bible school because he had received the call of God into ministry 😱:o😂. So bottom line, this lady ended up right back with what she was running away from. The word God spoke through His prophet, still came to pass.
I have heard that some ladies have the same issue; they have such an aversion for the idea of marrying a man who is into full time or even part time ministry and I can’t clearly figure out why.
Well, maybe you’d tell me that I don’t know all the sttrugles and trials it comes with. And you would be right ‘cos I’m yet to get married but I still think that there is nothing more honorable and beautiful than doing life and ministry together with the love of your life! It is not necessarily about pastoring a church and all that. There are a thousand and one ways of doing ministry.
And it takes you into a whirlwind and depth of intimacy that cannot be discovered and experienced any other way. The way I can connect with a man who knows how to protect and cover me not just physically but also spiritually, a man who can feed my spirit the word and help me grip my Savior’s hand tighter… is certainly not the same as with a man who can do none of that. Mheeen!! This is worth all the romance in the world. To me, this is romance 2.0 😄
Well, there are just some things you won’t fully grasp until you get there.
Revenons à nos moutons*.
The little story I just told you seemed to be on the negative side. Let’s get to a more positive sounding one. Maybe in your case, God said your future spouse would be very wealthy, a business tycoon or ministry one heading mega churches and world renowned. Or God said, they would be a very famous gospel singer or one of the scientists who would make unprecedented discoveries in our times,
So, yes, I agree God has given you details but did HE put time stickers on them?
When you meet them, they may not yet be everything that God told you they would be. Maybe you would marry that woman or man before they become all or some of the things God said. Maybe you would marry them before they FULLY become THE WOMAN OR MAN OF YOUR DREAMS.
So, I want to encourage you not to throw in the towel or throw the whole package away just because when you held and shook it, it didn’t feel heavy enough or the sound it gave from within doesn’t seem encouraging.
You haven’t opened it yet. Who throws away a parcel without even taking the time to take off the wrapping paper and look inside first?! That would be crazy, right?
Well, unless you know it’s a poisoned one. But that’s another story.
Doing marriage can be likened to slowly unwrapping a gift/parcel for the rest of your life; very slowly.
That gift has multiple compartments. Sometimes you are pleasantly surprised, some other times, you’re simply not.
I nevertheless need to say this for clarification:
There is of course, a set of things that must be there before the wedding (it is normal to expect seeing these). They are the basics or the foundations on which everything else will be built. I am referring to standards and values (Read more here: https://ceej2016.wordpress.com/2016/06/25/lord-he-must-be-a-ten-over-ten-in-jesus-name-i-pray-amen/ ) and they vary from one person to the other. It is best if they harmonise. They are things like:
-You must share the same faith (foundational beliefs, doctrines and all to be discussed in order to avoid future confusion in the home)
-They must have a relationship with God and be ready and willing to protect your purity (brothers are expected to lead over here especially, lol)
– Your purposes or callings should feet together (that is best)
– They must be financially independant (I didn’t say rich. There’s a difference) and emotionally and spiritually matured (preferably)
– You should be physically attracted to them (it is not adviseable to marry someone you are not attracted to and then expect to fall in love later)
These are things I’d advise that you should see in the now. It is unwise and dangerous to put these in the future hopes or expectations box.
Alright. Revenons à nos moutons*, one more time.
I always loved Pastor Mrs. Heather Lindsey’s testimony about how everyday, God is more and more changing her husband into the man of her dreams ( especially character wise; he was not an already made man). Who would believe that during the first year of their marriage, she wanted out? The same man she wanted to divorce less than or just a year after marrying him, is the same one, she is head over heels in love with today!
You’re wondering how it happened, right?
She said she learnt to take her complaints and frustrations about her husband to God EVERY TIME, instead of to her man; instead of throwing them at him and becoming a nagging wife, she chose to take it all to God in prayer each time. And she was amazed what God did for every request.
Pastor Mrs. Faith Oyedepo and mrs. Joyce Meyer (in her book: ME AND MY BIG MOUTH. I’d advice you to get and read this.) who are also well know women of God, have given similar testimonies about some period in their marriage.
Is it easy to take it to God instead of out on your partner? NO ! Not at all.
Is it impossible? Also no.
It is in our human nature to want to vent to someone or react as soon as we are hurt or disappointed, especially if you grew up learning to be a complainer, surrounded by complainers, negativity and criticism all day long.
But what does my God say?
That I, You, we, CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGHTENS us.
I believe those words are forever true. I also believe it will take being disciplined and being a prayerful and Spirit led wife/husband.
Say this prayer with me: my marriage won’t be part of the broken home and divorce statistics! I know and I keep learning how to wait and how to fight in prayer. Amen!
* Revenons a nos moutons: french version of : back to the matter.
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