I am not writing this because I’m exempted or I’m an angel. God knows I’m still a work a in progress. The aim of this write-up is not to discourage us or make us feel bad but rather to quicken and awaken us. May the Lord bless someone with understanding.
Where ma single ladies at? Can we have a little open heart chat?
I am going practical with this one. People pretend they are so holy or spiritual, they don’t care about many of the things I’m about to mention (these are just a few), but I know we all do. I’m not a fan of hypocrisy, so let’s get real.
Here we go!
I don’t know about the guys (I’m not sure) but I know that most of us ladies, have a list of what we want in a life mate. They range from the unrealistic « he must literally be an angel » expectations to the « I didn’t really know what a life mate should be like » ones. In short, everyone’s list differs depending on what their priorities and deal breakers are.
I’m making a pause now to remind us of something. When making a list , you must understand the difference between your values and your standards.
Your standards are those things you desire to see in a life partner and on which you can compromise (their height, skin colour, nationality or tribe, their job, how much they earn, their hair, shape, the length of their nose, their weight, 6 pack abs, etc.) but your values are those things that define you as a person — namely as a true christian — these are the things you cannot and must not compromise on (your faith, the fact that he/she must share that faith, your calling and purpose in life, your sexual purity, your relationship with God etc. ) . Under no circumstances should you do that. We’ll have another post on what you should look out for in finding out if they are the one 😉 .
Some people are against making a list. Personally I’m not ‘cos I believe in « be as specific as possible when you’re asking GOD for something ». At this point, if you are still wondering whether I have a list or not, let me just tell you. The answer is yes. 😀
So, it’s very much okay to make a list. The problem is not with making the list. I’m now getting to my point. The problem is with the content of the list. It’s with making sure as the saying goes, that YOU ARE MEETING THE REQUIEREMENT OF YOUR REQUIEREMENTS. Doesn’t the Bible say that it shall be measured out to you with the same measurement you used for others? yeah.
So, when you put your list down right now — wherever it is, go get it, dust it off if it’s been colonised by spiders and their webs — put it down before yourself. Sweety, how many of those requirements are you meeting so far? Honestly.
What am I driving at ? You want a 10/10? Be a 10 or at least, be close to a 10!
You want someone who has six-pack abs.
Fine. How far are you still from getting there with your one pack liquid abs? Maybe you should start trying a little harder. Forming healthier eating habits…taking care of that sublime body so it can last him a lifetime…. Let things be clear. I don’t mean be a magazine kind of slim by all means. You can be chubby, plump or fleshy and be super healthy; and vice-versa. Curvy women are beautiful! I know it for a fact. 😉
You want someone who’se tall while you’re short? Ok, this one, I let it go. Aint nothing you can really do about it. So, just pulling your legs. Short girls are the ish, so shout out to all my short babes! lol. Ok, Lets continue.
You want a super model whose smile could illuminate a house during an eclipse, because their teeth are as bright as those ones you see in the toothpaste commercials. Great! Someone who looks and smells so good every time you meet them, you just wanna bury your face in their shirt the whole time. Awesome!
But may I ask how far with your personal hygiene? Do you still notice people cringing their nose when you’re around or pass them by? Do you even notice at all?
You want someone who’se patient, loving and understanding ? Fabulous!
How are we overcoming that short temperdness so far?
Like me, you desire a seriously sold-out christian who is purpose driven and ministry-minded, someone who leaves you in awe whenever they share about the last thing God has told them or thought them. Beautiful and honourable. But how are you doing with curbing those hours used watching TV, tele novellas or series, so you can invest more time into your relationship with GOD?
Your dream of having a cultivated man with fine brains who leaves people dumbfounded every time he opens his mouth is not a bad one. Cultivated and intelligent are sexy and attractive. You know, there is even a kind of people called « sapiosexuals »: people who find intelligence sexually arousing. May I ask how many books you’ve read this year? Do you have an opinion of your own? Lets say just about the recent happenings around the globe? How are you making sure you are a cultivated woman too? Or you think beauty is all you need? My dear, look around you, there are a lot of beautiful women who got dumped by a man just because they had no brains and clearly don’t make an effort to have one. A man will only be satisfied with your physical beauty for so long. After a while, he’ll begin to thirst for substance.
So, time to get intentional about expanding that knowledge base, sis.
Invest into yourself. What you should know is that men of that caliber, seldom go looking for someone below their brainy waves. They need someone who mentally stimulates and challenges them. Smart is the new sex-appeal babe!
You want a meticulous help meet who cares and goes all out for you. Realise that such people pay much attention to details, discipline and order.
Have you finally mastered the art of keeping your own room clean and not looking like a cyclone just swept through it ? A spouse is a roommate for life and by then, you can’t just keep doing what you want forever! You have to be considerate of their needs; have the required skills to make your home the inviting and cozy place they’d always wanna run back to.
You dream of having a man who’se making the six figure salary, owns a Porsche and a beach vacation house already
What’s up with getting that degree or dusting your butt off and going on a search for a job? Have you made any progress in that direction yet? Can the balance in your savings account pay a mounth’s bills for such a house right now? Do you even have a savings account at all?
You are raining dangerous prayers coupled with fasting on that cute always-good-looking guy you see at church every sunday, so GOD would make him look into your direction. You know why he looks so cute? It’s because mama has been doing her job; she’s been feeding him good, balanced and delicious diet that is keeping him healthy. Would he have to run back to mama just 2 months after making you his wife, because you don’t know how to put a properly cooked meal together or because you have a disturbing habit of always wanting to get something from the fast food joint ?
How are we working on those cooking skills? Made any progress today?
Elom is taking long to propose. You were very sure that last time he came to take you out, it was for that purpose. But then you got to that classy romantic restaurant on Edwoodge avenue and he barely said a word the whole evening? He is a good man and he sincerely loves you but he wishes you at least knew that when a man walks through the door after a long hard day at work, what he needs is a welcoming smile and a sweet long hug, not a hand raising the list of new stuffs you need to buy to his face like he one more time saw you doing to your dad. He can’t keep repeating that forever.
Are you getting any closer to gentleness and kindness ?
True story. A little bird told me of a lady who nearly lost the man of her life due to her (former) haughty and rude attitude. The guy’s friends would always complain about her even just after meeting her for the first time. No man wants to spend his life apologising for his wife because she got an attitude.
My last and ultimate question is: Would you date yourself if you meet yourself as you are right now? An honnest answer would go a long way in helping you get nearer to that dream man you’re praying for.
Realise that a great man wants a great woman. Be that woman he is praying for.
Maybe you should start to make another list; a list about yourself. May I suggest that maybe you’re delaying your own blessing and the fact that you havn’t made that list and looked yourself in the mirror could be the reason you’re still single? So…
Cheers, to checking ourselves out first. Amen?
PS: This post applies to men as well.
Share if it inspired you 😉